


Vantaa

by ChristianHowe, helena_s_renn



Series: Eleven Strings – yksitoista kieltä [18]
Category: Def Leppard, Sonata Arctica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:15:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14599893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristianHowe/pseuds/ChristianHowe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/helena_s_renn/pseuds/helena_s_renn
Summary: Jani and Sav's time together comes to an end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not ours, not true; as far as the authors are aware, none of this ever happened.

* * *

How he managed to keep a straight face Jani had no clue as he watched the stewardesses fawn over Sav. His companion had been recognised before they'd even boarded: Somebody must have read his name on the flight manifest, at least that was what Jani thought was the reason why as soon as they arrived at their gate, they were called to the desk.

Or, rather, Jani was called to the desk: "M... Janie Laimai..." From his seat in the waiting area, Jani could see the frown on her face. That together with the mumbled gender designation told him it was likely his name being called. When he approached, they asked him to call his travel companion, too. Sav was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, but his name was on the list and that combination had given him away.

In hindsight, Jani thought, it was a good deal: they'd been upgraded from coach to business, and _of course!_ they'd been allowed to carry Rakas with them in the cabin. Sav had gracefully accepted the special service with a mildly-resigned smile. They'd received a good meal so they might decide to not head for a restaurant once they were in Finland. The extra space for their legs didn't hurt either, especially not after sitting in the car for so long – the traffic jam had exceeded their keenest expectations. They were lucky to have made their flight, but there hadn't been time to walk around a little, nor to take care of other 'urges.'

The downside of travelling with a famous rock star was that the Mile High Club was closed for them. Jani was sure that nobody knew who he was, but that would change if he and Sav were seen to enter one of the tiny restrooms together. They hadn't even held hands, and if Jani had fallen asleep for a little while with his head sinking against Sav's shoulder, he hoped that no one would misinterpret his exhaustion as inappropriate affection.

But now the flight was finally over and they'd soon be on their own again. The head stewardess handed Rakas to Sav with an expression of utter reverence on her face and it suddenly hit Jani that this man, who was receiving admiring glances from at least half of the females on board was _his man._ Not in terms of property, but that Sav had chosen Jani as his loved one. He felt stunned, but recovered quickly when the stewardess graced him with a radiant smile, too – any companion of _the_ Rick 'Sav' Savage must be worthy of the attention – and returned the smile.

There hadn't been a first class compartment on this flight so they were among the first to leave the plane. As they hurried down the gangway, Jani whispered to Sav, "You know that I can't wait to be in our room, not only for..." he grinned meaningfully, "but also so I can finally crack up laughing. Sorry, I know it must really suck for you to be famous, but I can't help it."

* * *

The car ride to Heathrow was interminably long. They didn't miss the flight, but there had been only minutes to spare. Then the usual circus started. The stewardesses handling boarding had their heads together over a list when they trotted up, and singled 'him' out by means of Jani, whose name they mangled. Sav resigned himself to it, accepted the perks like a seating upgrade and keeping the guitar out of the hold, and dealt with all the hovering and staring and entirely too much attention with cool politeness. How he got through it without one request for an autograph or photo, he hadn't the foggiest.

They didn't touch, barely spoke, and made sure their personal space bubbles and gestures wouldn't be taken as something more than friends. Had Sav been travelling with a woman, this sort of pretence wouldn't be needed. One day, he hoped, they could drop the act. He'd had time to think about it, and though he'd – hypothetically – tell family, friends, and the people with whom they had working relationships before the general public, revealing himself as bisexual would not hurt the band, he was convinced. Hell, it might even give them a slightly larger audience. Yeah, there'd be a media shitstorm. Whatever. He could always go hide out in Iceland or somewhere for a week and it would be over.

Through it all, he could feel Jani simmering beside him. If a flight attendant would linger, or some other passenger size Sav up, it was like he could feel sparks of reaction jump out of Jani's skin. Whether it was from amusement or annoyance, hard to say, but Jani reined it in till they were finally headed off the flight. "Oh, so you find it funny?" he grinned, especially at the prospect of Jani literally rolling on the floor, laughing. Actually, he found some of it funny, too. At least none of the people today had come close to some of the cooing, simpering, touchy-feely bullshit he'd had to put up with sometimes. "It didn't 100 percent suck." He gestured to Rakas in the bag which Jani carried. "We got out of coach. And since they fed us, we can get directly to... business."

Sav had other business first. The morning coffee had caught him up a while ago, but he hated airplane toilets enough he'd decided to wait. "Need the loo," he stated. Even a short flight made his skin feel weird, like the cabin pressure and canned air evaporated every bit of moisture from it. The hotel room would probably have some lotion. He supposed he could ask Jani to slather him in some very special cream. He might anyway.

* * *

"Great minds think alike," Jani commented when Sav announced that he needed a toilet. "Our hotel is two kilometres from here but I don't think my bladder will hold that long..."

"Okay, then," he said a few minutes later. "How do we proceed? There's a hotel shuttle. A taxi would be the quicker option, or we could walk. I'm fine with either – of course I'm in, um, kind of a hurry to be alone with you, but after all this sitting around I wouldn't mind stretching my legs either, and some fresh air, well, fresh compared to on board the plane wouldn't kill me either. But since we're now in my country you're the guest, so you get to decide." Jani smiled.

* * *

Well, that was a relief. It was better than years back, but Sav still liked public toilets only slightly better than those on airplanes. These in Vantaa were noticeably cleaner than their counterparts in Heathrow.

"We can walk," Sav replied, sensing Jani's preference, or, he thought he did. Two kilometres wouldn't take long. He, too could do with some light exercise after several hours of cramped quarters.

"Before we start off, I'm going to need to find a cash machine... how much were my airline tickets? And the hotel room? There's no way I'm letting you foot the bill, it was my idea." Up ahead, he saw a sign with what appeared to be an indicator there was one available somewhere beyond. Although it could be that he was crossing some unknown social boundary to speak plainly about it, he didn't have time to dance around the subject. He hoped Jani would see sense about the matter and not let his manly pride or some nonsense stand in the way.

* * *

Raising an eyebrow when Sav informed him that he'd pay for the flights and the hotel, Jani nodded. There was no question that Sav could easily afford it and Jani knew that it was freely given. "Thank you," he said. "Cash machines go by 'otto' here. It means withdrawal. I suggest you only withdraw the amount for the tickets as you can pay by card everywhere else, and of course at the hotel as well." He stood back and waited while Sav made the withdrawal and smiled when he was handed the cash. "Thanks again. I'd have been happy to pay for this, being with you for another night is worth a lot to me. But I also know that you're filthy rich," he winked, "so I'm equally happy to let you pay."

Jani had memorised the map, but the airport was a maze and he didn't want to get lost finding the right exit. When he asked for the best way on foot to the hotel Cumulus, an employee pointed them in the direction they had to go. Once they left the building, Jani found his bearings. "Cumulus is a chain," he explained to Sav while they walked. "There's one in Kemi, too, and I know from several people who stayed there that it's quite decent. Since it's also among the closest to the airport and not too expensive, I picked it. There's a restaurant on site although I'm not very hungry at the moment, but that could change later." He grinned. "Physical exertion and all that."

* * *

Jani gave him the amount and accepted the cash without any hesitation. Good, he was being sensible, then, passing it off with a comment about Sav being filthy rich. Since he'd said the same himself on more than one occasion, it was already almost an inside joke between them. "If you've got it, might as well enjoy it," he said simply. A bit later, Jani also wasn't too proud to ask directions from an airport employee. Then he announced their hotel was nice but not outrageously expensive. Again, sensible.

They made their way outside and started the short trek. "I've no doubt we'll burn a lot of energy soon," Sav agreed. "There's been more than one night already when we were too busy 'burning' to refuel. Not that that's optimal." He kept his comments generic in case they were overheard. It was less likely that he would be recognised on the street here, but, he assumed, more likely for Jani. "Maybe a snack later, depending on their hours and our appetites."

It had been many hours now since that scene in Sav's laundry room. To say he was already ravenous in one regard was an understatement. Only the pressure of acting casual in public had kept his body under control. It was no different here, but he was definitely getting twitchy, was one way to put it. He'd better distract himself for these last few minutes. "You said you know Helsinki fairly well. Is it a good place to have a summer home? Or do you suggest farther north?"

* * *

They walked. When Sav suggested that they'd burn a lot of energy soon, Jani smiled again as warmth spread in his belly and further below. It would have to wait a few more minutes. Meanwhile, Sav asked him about places for a summer home.

"That'd depend on what you want," Jan replied after thinking for a moment. "If you're after night life, Helsinki would be the place. However, it's expensive – well, Finland is generally an expensive place to live – and if you want real action, you'd pick a town like London or Paris, I guess." He shrugged.

"A Finn would go for the most remote place he could find with the maximum distance to any potential neighbour. Close to a lake or other body of water. If you were thinking about getting a place, I'd recommend to check out Järvi-Suomi in the south or south-east of Finland. It's the lake district. Imatra, where we're playing tomorrow, is on the south-eastern border of that region, at Lake Saimaa, the largest lake of Finland and one of the largest in Europe."

He looked at Sav. "Where you asking about the north because I live there?"

* * *

"I'm not interested in nightlife, per se. For one thing," Sav wrinkled his nose, "I'm kind of getting too old for that scene. You're not though, so of course if we were ever visiting each other sometime and you wanted to go out to clubs, I'd indulge you," he grinned, wondering what Jani danced like when he didn't have an axe strapped to him.

Then, seeing the look Jani gave him, he pulled it back, in case he'd overstepped, and lowered his voice. "The north... well yeah, kind of because you live there, but also partially because you'd know Finland, Scandinavia better than me. If you'd recommended something far above the Arctic Circle for one reason or another, I'd have thought about it. Summer home is probably the wrong term, considering my schedule. I never have summers off. Maybe I should go for something in the Mediterranean, or the Caribbean." He shrugged. "By water, I'd want that. I don't care for snakes, spiders, insects and very hot weather much, though. Don't worry, I'm not suggesting we move in together. There's always Sheffield for, uh, shacking up temporarily."

* * *

"Well, I like to go to a bar with friends now and then, or a karaoke place. I don't have to live in Helsinki for that although it sure is fun now and then to be there. If you were visiting for a few days, I'd show you good places in Helsinki. If you came over for longer, well, there's other places to go, but distances are far and road conditions in winter – which is long – make driving not much fun. Then in the north there's moose and reindeer on the roads at night. Domestic flights are cheap, but you still need a car, which I currently don't have – ours is my girlfriend's and I doubt that she'd be amused if I used it to drive around with my lover. Same about our flat."

He grimaced. "Since I need to find a new place anyway and I don't like the cold and darkness, Anni has suggested I find a place in the south. Not like Mediterranean or Caribbean," Jani winked, "but after a lifetime of freezing my balls off in Kemi, southern Finland will feel like those places. And you're welcome to visit of course, just like I'd love to spend time with you in Sheffield. Who knows," Jani blushed, "at some point when we're old and grey we might manage to move in together. If I were rich enough to buy a house, I'd name it Sävilä," his voice sank to a whisper. "It means Sav's place."

* * *

"I probably spoke too quickly, about 'nightlife'. That word always makes me think of dance clubs. A bunch of 20-year-olds trying to hook up. Yeah, I like to go to the pub, bar... and shows for other bands, stuff like that... it's such a rarity these days," he replied.

"Sav's place..." he tried to replicate Jani's pronunciation of the Finnish version. "I like it, the idea anyway. How do you say 'Sav and Jani's place'?"

* * *

"Well, I... A... place... is usually attributed to a single person. Jani's place would be Janila. Both of us... Sävilä ja Janila... No," he shook his head, wondering why it started spinning, just like his thoughts... he couldn't seem to focus on... What had Sav asked... He pulled himself together with an effort. "Sorry. Sävin ja Janin koti, Sav and Jani's home... Sävin ja Janin mökki, cabin... but these don't sound like actual place names... But... we could always have two places, mine, Sävilä in Finland and yours in Sheffield... I never asked, does your house already have a name? Something Manor?"

* * *

Sav noticed Jani kind of... struggling with the concept of both of their names on one dwelling. Once again, he could only hope he hadn't inadvertently insulted Jani. "Sorry... if I ruined it. I'd be honoured if – hypothetically – you were to name such a place Sävilä." He cleared his throat. "I should probably be more conscious of my house's history. If it had or has a name, I'm not aware of it. It was offices for something like 65 years. People probably didn't think of it as a house until I moved in." He remembered all the cramped, cubby-hole sized offices on each side of the upstairs hallway. Now, two or three of them formed each bedroom, other than Sav's lair which was actually five of them plus redone storage rooms. Yes, it was outrageous.

"If I remember you correctly, a mökki is the more rustic place, maybe even without electricity? I wouldn't care if that's all we had, one room, a small double bed and a woodstove, if that's what it took. It might even be sort of... romantic." Sure, if the weather was decent. Freezing his balls off did not appeal. "Is that our hotel?" Sav squinted into the distance. The sign seemed to have a 'C' as the starting letter.

* * *

His, admittedly, confused explanation got him a speculative look. Something was going through the other man's mind that Jani couldn't read, but it was clear that it had to do with what he'd said. He tried to think back and found that it didn't make much sense to him either, why was that? Or, more general, why couldn't he answer the question? Why wasn't he able to answer the question? Hell, all of a sudden he apparently couldn't handle his native tongue any longer, what the...? _And what had the question been? Why couldn't he remember?_

He belatedly noticed that his hands were shaking, as was the rest of his body. Something was wrong. "Not feeling so good..." he whispered, wondering why it came out slurred as if he were drunk, which he was pretty sure he wasn't. Or was he? Reaching out to... the person... next to him to steady himself, he missed. And then another thing hit him. Where was he? And...

"Who are you?"

* * *

Sav glanced sideways when Jani told him very quietly that he wasn't feeling well. He'd been fine only a minute before, as far as Sav knew. Yes, he'd slept on the plane, but they'd been wearing each other out for days, plus flights were boring.

"What's wrong?" he asked, but instead of answering, Jani stumbled sideways, tried to grab on to him to stay upright, and couldn't. Sav turned and caught him before he hit the ground. Sort of. It was less than graceful. The end result was Jani landing half twisted on his side and Sav on his arse under him. The gig bag had crashed down hard, and Sav feared the worst but the choice between a thing and a person – his lover – was obvious.

Or... shite, Jani asked him who he was. What?! "It's me, Sav... Rick Savage..." Thinking his full name would somehow provide a basis of recognition, Sav was wrong again. Looking Jani over closely, he couldn't deny something was off. His eyes were... wrong. Glassy and glazed over, not tracking right, and his hands were shaking like an old person's with Parkinson's or something. People were, if not staring, walking by and avoiding their presence or giving them a wide berth. He didn't even have water to offer.

"Jani... are you al-" Of course he wasn't alright! The question was, how much not alright. He decided to give it a minute, no more, to see if Jani would come out of whatever this was. Maybe they could make it to the hotel, it couldn't be far. If not, he'd have no choice but to call for help. Either way, he'd need to be checked over by a doctor before they did anything else.

Sav's heart sank; he felt sick. Yeah, it was, for him, a trip that could end very differently than how he – they – planned. But for Jani... his gig tomorrow... his music, his life! Sav had no contact information for any of the other Sonata members but then he remembered it had to be in Jani's phone... if it got to that point. "Jani," he repeated. "Do you think you can walk?"

* * *

"Mitäs...?" Why was he... lying? sitting? on the floor, half-way on and half-way under Sav... Sav... who was staring at him with wide eyes and... _telling him that he was Sav, Rick Savage!_ Why was Sav telling him who he was? And why were his hands shaking? Jani opened his mouth and frowned when he didn't know where to begin asking. "Mitä vittua...?"

Before he could figure out how to form words that would make sense, Sav asked him if he could walk. Sure, why shouldn't he be able to walk, Jani wanted to reply, but even though he had difficulties focusing or thinking clearly, it was obvious that something weird was going on.

"What the hell is happening?" he finally managed to say, if a little slurred.

* * *

The first thing out of Jani's mouth ended in the Finnish word Sav had come to recognise as 'fuck'. He'd have laughed if the situation were funny at all. Now, at least, Jani seemed to know who he was. His words sounded a little bit slurred, when he managed to ask – in English – what was going on.

"I'm not sure," Sav answered. "Suddenly you stumbled and fell, and asked me who I was. For a minute there, I wondered if you were having a stroke. It's not on one side though, and only lasted a couple minutes." If Jani's memory was spotty, telling him they had been on the way to 'their' hotel might have some unwanted consequences. "We should... get ourselves up and walking, if you can."

Slowly and carefully, keeping an eye on Jani, Sav wiggled his way free of the tangle they'd fallen in. He'd landed on his tailbone, and it was probably bruised but no worse. Stiffly, he hauled himself to his feet. "Need a hand up?" he offered, prepared to wait longer if Jani needed more time.

* * *

Jani nodded. "Thanks." He took the offered hand and let himself be pulled to his feet. Still trying to figure out what had just happened, he found that there was something missing... His memory... The last he remembered was that Sav had asked a question. While replying to it – or attempting to reply, he wasn't quite sure – something had... gone weird... Next he knew he was on the floor with Sav. He didn't like it, but...

"Must have been lack of sleep," Jani shrugged it off. He slowly bent down to pick up his backpack and the gig bag – and swore. He didn't care much about the contents of his backpack, but Rakas... She was, unintentionally but fortunately, protected not only by the bag but also by the sweat pants he'd wrapped her up in, still...

"Let's get to the hotel so I can check on her," he said nervously. "We're almost there."

* * *

"Alright." Jani was oriented to where they were, as suddenly as he'd _not_ been only moments ago. Sav still thought Jani should be checked out – by a doctor – as well. He kept it to himself for the moment, because Jani's worry over the guitar would likely make him less than amenable to any suggestion of medical attention. Lack of sleep? Okay, Sav wasn't familiar with Jani's normal requirements but they'd spent plenty of time asleep by his standards, especially the latter half of Jani's visit.

Well, they were both up and walking now. The sign he'd thought could be for their hotel, was indeed. He held the door for Jani, who had more to carry, and they headed to the front desk to check in. Would Jani remember they were sharing a room, and a bed? Sav glanced to the side, ready to take over if necessary. For now, this was Jani's 'turf' and he'd made the reservation, so he deferred to him in speaking to the concierge.

* * *

As they approached the reception, Jani suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around, blushing as he spoke to Sav. "Um, I've... made a reservation for a double bed. Would you..." He swallowed and continued in a whisper, "Sorry, I'm... Would you hate me if I asked you to wait outside for a moment so they won't see who I'm sharing with?" He hung his head.

* * *

If not for what had happened outside, Sav probably would have thought about not being seen together in this sort of scenario. Jani was definitely in his right mind again. That, Sav supposed, was a positive.

"Right. Sorry. I'll just..." He lowered his voice to a whisper as well, pulling out his phone and pretending, as an 'excuse', to look at the screen. "Call me when you get up to the room."

It was probably weird, if anyone was watching, that he leave after just walking in, but it couldn't be helped. He only hoped that the check-in wouldn't take long, and that Jani did not have any further spells, incidents, whatever such a thing was called.

* * *

The receptionist only looked up when Jani greeted her, which made him relax. It was likely she hadn't seen Sav with him. He asked for a second key, announcing that his fiancée would arrive later – and immediately feeling guilty again for lying about Sav. One day they'd be open about being together, but that day had not yet come. On his way to the elevator, Jani texted Sav the room number, ending the short message with 'can't wait.'

The first thing he did when he entered the room was unpack Rakas. Jani almost broke into tears after inspecting her and finding that she appeared not to have been damaged during the fall. The fall... whatever... He was pretty sure that whatever had happened had not been caused by lack of sleep. That had only been the first thing he could think of as a possible excuse. It had been scary, but he noted that his hands had finally stopped trembling, so Jani decided to push the very recent past to the back of his mind.

Rakas still in his hands, he sat down on the bed and played a few scales while he waited for Sav to join him.

* * *

Two minutes, three, five... it wasn't long but time crawled by. Finally around ten minutes after Sav had gone outside and sat on a bench a bit up the sidewalk, his mobile vibrated in his hand. Jani, with the room number and a, "Can't wait!" Seemed like someone's libido was back on track as well.

Jani wasn't the only one. Although he couldn't entirely forget whatever had happened, because it wasn't normal for a grown man who wasn't under the influence and hadn't tripped on something to just fall over, he would, as the saying went, play it by ear. Based on the system of numbering, the room was on the sixth floor, meaning Jani wouldn't have taken the stairs. That was good, because even after the fact, the thought of him having a mishap in the stairwell was panic inducing.

Oh, stop it, Sav told himself. It wasn't him, to freak out. If there was a recurrence, he'd need to keep his head together. Walking through the lobby, no one bothered him. He pressed the button for the correct floor, waited through three stops for other guests, and followed the signs. Glancing left and right, he knocked on the door with the room number given.

* * *

It was a déjà-vu of the morning of the Ankkarock festival: Jani waiting impatiently for Sav in a hotel room. Only this time he wasn't nervous about meeting Sav like he'd been then – which, of this he was sure, had been one contributing factor why they'd almost ruined everything back then... Back then sounded as if it was ages ago, but in reality it was only a week. One of the shortest and best weeks of his entire life, possibly even the best, in any event it reached the same level of happiness Jani had know when Sonata had been signed.

Then, finally, the expected knock on the door came. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but it sure felt like an eternity. How on earth would they be able to handle the separation... No, not now. They'd cross that bridge later. For now, Jani jumped up from the bed, carefully laid Rakas down on it and bounced to the door. He tried to force a neutral expression on his face in case it was anyone else, but failed. Thankfully, his bright smile greeted the person he was waiting for.

"There you are, come on in," Jani beamed. He carefully checked the hallway to make sure they were alone. "Can you believe that I missed you already? But first things first..." He turned serious. "Rakas, she's fine."

* * *

The door opened. The sun rose in the east and its name was Jani Liimatainen. The afore-named man was beaming so intensely, a person would think they'd not seen each other in months, rather than minutes. Sav felt the same level of happiness, both for seeing his lover and because Jani appeared to be fine now. The second Jani stepped aside, he was in the room, putting his backpack on the nearest flat surface.

It kind of amused him that the first order of business was to confirm that the guitar had survived unscathed. "I'm glad," he smiled. "When she hit the ground, I feared the worst. The extra padding must have helped, and well, it – she – is built like a tank."

Hesitating, Sav dithered about it and decided to ask. Chances were that Jani would brush it off. He didn't have an insurance policy on his life that he'd ever mentioned. If anything of the sort had happened to Sav on the road, he had no doubt that it would be another trip to the A&E, and probably observation and slew of tests. Annoying but, well... "What about you? Everything alright?" he kept his voice mild.

* * *

Sav had an amused smile on his face when he told Jani he was glad that Rakas was fine. Jani refrained from pointing out that if the guitar were broken, it could have been interpreted as a bad omen for their relationship. Although it would have hurt him a lot to see her damaged, he'd admit to being superstitious only in the positive sense, meaning that in her current condition he'd take her as token of their love and well-being, but if anything bad happened to her he wouldn't read it as a bad sign for him and Sav. Still, he didn't know Sav well enough and he didn't want to ruin the mood in case Sav believed in 'signs', so he kept his mouth shut.

Then Sav asked if he, Jani, was okay, too, not only the guitar. Jani bit his lip and looked down. "I guess I am," he said quietly. He didn't really want to think about what had happened earlier. "I feel fine, no more shaking hands. I'm good now and I promise I'll tell you if that changes."

He took Sav's hands and pressed them. "So, should we start ravishing each other?" Jani winked.

* * *

Jani said he was fine now, which Sav expected, and he nodded. That didn't mean he wouldn't keep an eye on him. Considering Jani's proposition, he'd soon have his eyes – and other parts – all over him. Jani took his hands, the touch both warm and electric, and immediately he felt the fire and the delicious rush of blood southward. "Ravish me... Yes! And I'll ravish you, too. Tonight... anything you want, Jani. I mean, always, but especially tonight."

Holding hands was nice, but not enough. Sav looked into Jani's eyes, leaned in... he let his hands glide up Jani's arms, then around his chest on one side. Their bodies fit together so well, perfectly, even now, fully clothed. And their lips, when he gave in to that, tilting his head slightly and starting with a little peck, then more pressure, opening his mouth a little so he could lick at Jani's lower lip. Skin, he needed skin, free hand pulling Jani's tee up.

* * *

For a moment when Sav asked to be ravished and... _anything you want, Jani..._ Jani wondered if Sav could have possibly meant he wanted Jani on top, but he didn't dare to ask. This was their last night together for a long time and he wouldn't risk ruining it. Jani was very happy to be on the receiving end, and one day he'd gather up the courage to ask if Sav could imagine swapping roles. One day in the future, when he knew Sav a little better and could be sure that such a proposition wouldn't hurt Sav. For now...

Sav's hands on his body pushed all thoughts from his mind when his brain was too busy processing emotions and the feel of hands, fingers, caressing him and lips kissing him, making love to his mouth, licking at his lip, bringing the glowing embers of his passion to erupt in blazing flames. When Sav's free hand pulled on Jani's tee, Jani played along and pulled it over his head, then immediately reached for Sav's shirt to do the same, mindful of Sav's still sore shoulder.

A quick glance told him that it had been a mistake to lay Rakas on the bed. They needed the space _now_ and he wouldn't risk damaging her in the process. So Jani gasped, "Clothes off, now. Then I'll take care of the bed and you grab supplies," and hurried to undress, flinging his discarded garments in all directions. Since he wasn't suffering the after-effects of falling off the stage like Sav was, he was quicker and thus the first to be naked. It gave him time to stash the guitar in her bag and pull back the blanket.

"I want you so fucking much!"

* * *

Feeling Jani respond and give back, like always, sent more pulsing signals to key points on Sav's body. He couldn't agree more that they needed to be in that bed... now!

After shedding his shirt and pulling Sav's off, too, Jani stepped away and got naked in about two seconds. His coordination was back online, too, although Sav had plans to mess with that again. Jani offered to safely stash Rakas out of the way if Sav would fetch supplies. "Got stuff in my backpack," he said, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. His remaining clothes joined the haphazard scattering of Jani's – or formerly his – on the floor.

When Sav looked up from grabbing a handful of condom and lube packets so he wouldn't have to go back again and again, Jani was standing by the bed. The simple act of turning the covers down while he told him that he wanted Sav burned into his memory, another image to save and treasure. "Same for me. Need to feel you..."

How much he wanted Jani was obvious, as he was already hard, his erection bobbing as he walked the few steps to Jani. Right now, he didn't try to hide how he was taking in the view. "I'mma get in..." meaning the bed, "'cuz as soon as I start touching you again, I'm not gonna wanna stop."

Once he'd set the supplies on the bedside table, Sav smiled in lieu of a kiss or grope and then crawled onto the bed and under the covers to lay down on his side, propped up on his elbow. It was weird, he felt almost nervous, which was silly. They'd had sex more than a dozen times in only a few days and were well acquainted with each other's bodies. Once Jani was there with him, against him, it wouldn't matter.

* * *

Sav didn't need to be told twice, he undressed – almost – as fast as Jani, then dug out the lubricant and condoms, approaching the bed just when Jani reached it. Sav crawled in and Jani joined him.

"Now there's no need to stop touching each other," he whispered, his voice gone hoarse with need. Laying his hand on Sav's chest, Jani smiled when he felt the strong heartbeat. He didn't know Sav's normal heart rate but the thumping under his fingertips sure seemed faster than normal. "I want to taste you," Jani announced as he shuffled down the bed a little so he could get his mouth on Sav's chest. Licking across a pectoral, he aimed for a nipple, took it between his lips and suckled gently and rhythmically. "Mmhhh..."

* * *

There was only time to hum an affirmative before Jani went for Sav's chest, first with a hand, then with his mouth. Leading with his tongue across the skin – and sparse, fine hairs, Sav grimaced on his behalf but Jani seemed none the worse for it – he sucked the stiff nipple into his mouth. Hot, wet, pulling, he found it similar to getting blown but on a smaller scale. Hissing, "Yessss!" Sav arched and let himself feel it, this entirely new sensation only discovered a day or two before thanks to Jani.

But he wasn't going to just lay there for long. Unable to exactly return the favour at the moment, Sav sought Jani's nipple with his hand, following the lines of his chest after some wiggling about and he petted lightly across the tiny peak, then circled the outer border with his fingertip. Highly aware of that tiny 'erection' close to his groin in their current position, he pressed forward till his slight rhythm matched Jani's mouth, rubbing, or more like resting his dick, against the warm skin in the middle of Jani's torso. "Harder!" he demanded, pinching the bit of raised, hardened flesh between his thumb and finger.

* * *

His action was clearly welcome. Jani smiled at Sav's appreciative hiss and went back to sucking, harder, when Sav asked for it. He had to suppress a hiss himself as Sav's fingers traced his chest until they found one of Jani's hardened peaks, caressing it first, then pinching it. Moaning as more blood surged down to his already aching erection, Jani ground his groin against Sav's leg. He was leaking enough to smear slick on the thigh he rubbed himself on, groaning with the sweet friction.

"Sav," Jani moaned as he let go of the nipple in his mouth and honed in on the other one, this time taking it very carefully between his teeth and tugging gently, once, twice. "I'm going to need you inside me soon," he panted and licked broad stripes over the tiny bud, then blew on it.

* * *

He got what he'd asked for, harder suction, teeth, then air cooling it till it pulled tight almost to the point of pain. So good! Rolling his hips once, Sav moaned as a droplet of his own slick welled up. He wasn't the only one – a damp patch smeared his leg where Jani was humping it. No surprise, they'd waited all day, morning till night, that Jani relayed his impatience. "Soon, eh? I think I can make that happen." Sav punctuated that with a flick of his fingernail against Jani's nipple. "I'll need..." he reached overhead for supplies and grabbed the packets he'd need. Quick as he could, he ripped each open.

With them in hand, he pulled Jani up, close, and kissed him hungrily. They rutted together, eyes locked; Sav brought his hand around to slide down Jani's back and clutch at his butt. Aggression reared up in him, urgent, powerful. "Need to get you ready for me," he groaned when they came up for air. "Roll over or leg up?"

* * *

Jani loved what he was doing to Sav and he also loved what Sav was doing to him, but he was still relieved when Sav instantly reacted to his announcement and had the supplies at hand. "Slick, yes, but I don't think I need much stretching," he panted. "I know how to relax by now and I love it when you stretch me open with your dick. I promise I'll tell you if – before – it hurts."

He kissed Sav again, then he rolled on his front and spread his thighs. "There you go, I'm all yours," Jani laughed.

* * *

"You'll get what you asked for," Sav assured Jani, who got on his knees and... presented his arse. "Oh god!" Seeing Jani in that position tightened his balls and spiked his adrenaline, and he scrambled up on his knees. Rolling on the condom first, he replied, "Yeah, you've got that skill mastered... it's a great help when we need it _right fucking now."_ There was nothing like breaking in a willing virgin, Sav couldn't deny it, his inner caveman had the final say on that one... but Jani learning how to handle himself was exciting. It showed how much he trusted Sav, and was literally open to him.

Squeezing the packet of lube onto his fingers, Sav grasped Jani's hip with the other hand. There, his cheeks parted, revealing the dusky little hole. "Can't wait to slide into you," he choked, and smeared the shiny, clear gel across his goal. "Fingering you open now... only just enough to coat you inside." One finger, then two, no more. Jani took them easily, and as Sav worked, moved slightly, squirmed, the muscles in his back and shoulders shifting, long red hair falling down the middle. For all that his lover asked to be fucked open, Sav didn't want for Jani to have to stop him because he'd hurt him.

He'd do everything in his power to assure that would never happen. Sav moved up, his knees between Jani's knees, reaching down to guide himself. He hissed again, his dick surging into aching fullness. The lube squelched slightly as the latex-covered tip of him touched then breached the slick band of muscle. His voice rose in pitch as Sav's body sent frantic signals to go deep. "Jani... Jani, unnngh...!" To the base, to the hilt, and he screamed in triumph.

* * *

Thank goodness Sav didn't linger. Jani twisted his neck to watch what was happening, gasping when Sav rolled on the condom, always eager to learn. One day, maybe, he could show off his own technique, beginning with a couple of firm strokes to make sure he was hard enough – at least that's what he'd told the women he'd been with, at this point he'd _always_ been hard enough – and squeeze out a droplet of pre-come. Then place the rubber on his crown, gently smooth down his foreskin, roll the thing over his by then aching hardness with fingertips caressing the tip first, then using his fist...

Jani wished they wouldn't have to use rubbers. With any luck, soon they wouldn't, where soon was relatively speaking, as soon as they were tested and met again. He couldn't wait for that day. Although... After the first few times he'd had sex, always safe already as a teen, Jani had for a while worn a condom when wanking because the implication that one wore them only for actual sex had turned him on so much. He'd definitely grown up since then!

Sav's fingers were fast and efficient and he didn't waste any time playing with himself. Within a couple of seconds he was gloved and had ripped open the sachet of lubricant. With one of Sav's hands planted on Jani's hip, firmly as to make sure he didn't squirm away – now why did it turn him on to be held in place? – Jani felt his cheeks being spread. The thought of Sav actually looking at his arsehole made him blush for a second before the announcement that Sav would now finger him open, just enough to slick him up inside as well, made the blood rush from his – facial! – cheeks to his dick and more fluid welled up from his slit.

Then the fingers were there, rubbing over his needy entrance and Jani found himself pushing back, his body begging to be penetrated, feeling the need to rub himself against Sav like a cat in heat. First one, then the second finger entered him and he moaned, pushing back even more but Sav knew how to avoid touching that place that Jani needed to have touched. Bastard!

However, before he could complain, his thighs were kneed apart as Sav settled between them. Something other than a finger nudged his hole, there was pressure and... Jani's eyes widened in delightful shock as Sav pushed in, spreading him wide open. There was no pain, but the warring emotions of being open and vulnerable and simultaneously needy, even slutty, wanting to beg Sav to stop and yet also to hurry up, were overwhelming. Being stretched and filled to his limit felt so wrong and so right and perfect at the same time that Jani's mind couldn't figure it out and gave control over to his body.

"Yes, oh god, Sav," Jani moaned, sounding like a wounded animal. "Please move! Now! I need it so bad! Please give it to me, hard and fast, all you have, please Sav!"

* * *

Being penetrated suddenly like that brought out the animal in Jani, too. The string of explicit directive he released in moans prompted a like affirmation from Sav's gaping mouth, "Gonna give this hot little arse the fucking it deserves... Gonna do you so hard, Jani, make you feel it, make sure you'll never forget...!"

And forget starting slow! He needed to show Jani exactly who did him right, did him like no one else. The second he bottomed out, Sav pulled back and slammed in again and again, using a one-hip-one-shoulder grip on Jani to hold them steady as he hammered away as fast as he could manage. He didn't even try to keep his rhythmic grunts down. The slap, slap, slap of his groin against Jani's arse could probably be heard far down the hallway as well. Sav ignored the passing thought of being thrown out of the hotel for noisy sex, fuck that, it wasn't so late at night yet and anyway, wasn't this one thing people did in hotels, away from their home environment, in the face of reunions and impending separations?

He couldn't bear the thought of the latter, shoved it away with the force of his thrusts. Under him, Jani not only took it but writhed and pushed back, practically rubbing his arse on him every downstroke. Sav knew why – he'd been avoiding Jani's prostate because touching it always brought an almost immediate orgasm. Consciously or unconsciously, Jani was trying to find an angle where Sav's dick would rub against his spot. Wanting that was instinctual, he understood. Hell, his balls were already heavy with the need to release his seed. Every time he pulled back and the tightness of Jani's sphincter dragged against the millions of screaming nerve endings he got a little closer, but he also wanted this to last for at least a few more minutes.

"You want me to hit your spot, don't you?" he demanded, letting it happen once. He was starting to pant and sweat from the pace he'd set. "You wanna come...? Beg for it!" Sav was surprised at himself, they'd never played this way. The heat it generated in his belly and lower was undeniable, though. He pushed down on Jani's shoulder then reached around to find his dick so swollen it was like silky-hot steel and leaking fluids, and began to stroke.

* * *

Sav promised he'd do Jani hard and immediately made good on his promise. Hard and fast it was, but something was missing. It took Jani's blood-deprived brain a comparably long time to figure out that Sav missed bumping his inner gland on purpose. He'd pressed back, urging Sav deeper, gyrating his hips and squirming to no avail when it finally dawned on him that this wasn't lack of skill. As soon as he realised what was going on, Jani thought he hadn't heard right: had Sav really just asked him to... beg him to make him come?

His first instinct was to refuse outright, but then he thought why not? He'd now and then fantasised about elements of BDSM – never in the submissive role and never with another man, of course, but he'd also read about the bottom being the one in charge. Besides, less than a minute ago, he _had_ begged Sav to do him. Grinning, Jani told himself he'd give Sav what he'd been asked for. On his own terms:

"Bloody hell, Sav, fucking give it to me already!" Jani yelled.

* * *

Oh lord! Sav threw back his head and laughed. This was Jani's idea of begging? It broke the strange tension, though. He had to wonder at himself, why he had these strange fantasies that were so incongruous to the person he was coming to understand.

"Oh yeah? I don't... think you want it that bad. Do you? Huh? Do you wanna come for me?" Sav purred. He spread his knees wider on the bed, changing angle to give Jani a stroke or two across his male g-spot, satisfied with the whine of need he heard, and the way Jani's erection jumped inside his fist. "Say it... beg me!" he repeated but this time in a hoarse whisper, moving his hips fast and smoothly but so he wouldn't touch that spot. Oh, he'd do it if Jani tossed it back like that again. Really, he wanted to make love however aggressively, not fight.

* * *

If Jani's goal had been to make Sav laugh, he'd reached it. His real goal, however, not so much: after nudging his inside pleasure spot a couple of times, Sav changed angle again and repeated his request that Jani beg him for it.

Right then – or, rather, not. Jani had a strong desire – understatement of the millennium! – to come, but he also had a stubborn streak. If Sav made this a contest, Jani sure as hell wasn't going to lose it by giving in. For a second, he thought about turning this into another joke by suggesting to Sav that he beg Jani to beg him to make him come, but the wording in English to bring this point across would probably overtax the single brain cell that hadn't relocated downstairs; already the distraction by merely thinking about this made his erection flag a little.

Of course, there was an easier solution: he'd cheat. Instead of opening his mouth, Jani clenched his butt cheeks hard. The resulting gasp was very satisfying, so he continued to tighten and loosen his sphincter rhythmically.

* * *

No begging, unless Sav was planning to call what amounted to a dick massage 'begging'. "Fuuuuck, Janieeee!" Sav had lost the upper hand, but not entirely. He had one trick left. Leaning forward, he draped himself over Jani's back, planting the hand not on his cock on the bed beside him. This time, his angle was deliberate; he could feel what he was doing, that little bump, the head of his erection rubbing forward and back. Along the frenulum below, the explosion of sensation radiated throughout his body, pulsing shocks of sparkling need. He only hoped his lover felt the same, in his own way.

Suddenly, Sav was there, the squeezing of Jani's hole too much. "You're gonna come, Baby, gonna... oh god I'm gonna...!" He couldn't stop the snapping of his hips.

* * *

"Fuuck!" Jani screeched when Sav hit his spot dead on. It was what he'd hoped for, of course, but he hadn't been entirely sure it would happen. Now that it did happen, he lost himself in the rhythm, moving with Sav, pushing back to urge him deeper, and continuing to clench as he'd discovered that this enhanced his own pleasure as well.

"Fuck, Sav, gonna, gonna," he echoed, "be there right with you... Gnnnnhhh...!"

* * *

Jani's screech, then deep, burbling groan followed spasms rather than slower, deliberate clenches on the inside, told Sav everything he needed to know. Together, they crested the peak, shot their loads, drained themselves for and in each other. The high was incredible, lust and love culminating.

All was frenetic movement one second, thrusting and spurting and practically yowling, and in the next Sav's body locked up so hard he might have feared cramps in several parts if he could think at all. Then the shaking set in, and he would have pulled out and flopped down had he not remembered how Jani always winced about that part, even when he had completely softened and more or less fell out. "That was..." About to say the 'L' word but feeling how it would choke him up, Sav instead cracked, "You're shite at begging, you know." Then he really did giggle, and cut off the silly schoolgirl sound by kissing the back of Jani's shoulder.

* * *

They groaned through their climax together, then fought for breath together until Sav became heavy on Jani's back. Still, he didn't pull put, which Jani was grateful for because he needed the... connection...

He was confused, to say the least, but hoped that Sav wouldn't notice as he didn't want to ruin their last night together. When Sav told him that he, Jani was 'shite at begging' and broke into giggles, Jani understood even less. Had this been a joke? A game? The famous British humour? How was he supposed to have reacted? It was obvious that Sav was highly amused. Jani... wasn't.

"Sav," he began carefully, "I... can we talk for a moment?"

* * *

He was probably getting heavy, Sav realised, when Jani prompted him that he wanted to talk. If it had been a woman saying that, Sav would already have a hint that the shit was about to hit the fan or the bomb to drop. This was Jani, though. "Yes, of course we can... just let me..." He slowly, carefully began to pull out.

* * *

Jani shuddered when Sav pulled out, not because it hurt, and not for the feeling of loss either this time, but for the squelching noise and the weird sensation when Sav's dick was already out of his body, but the tip of the condom with the filled reservoir only slipped free of his arsehole a moment later.

"Man, I really, totally and absolutely love your, um, juices, but this... I can't wait for the day we both know we're clean so we can skip using these..."

He remained in his position while Sav discarded the rubber, wondering if and what he should say. It had to have been a misunderstanding, Jani's mind refused the possibility of Sav wanting to make him a 'slave.' When Sav had asked him to beg to come the first time, Jani hadn't known what to think except that Sav had to be joking. He'd reacted on instinct, cracking a joke himself in a situation he wasn't sure he fully understood. When Sav had asked again, Jani had felt uncomfortable, mostly because he was afraid of ruining the evening. They'd come, spectacularly so, as always, but it still left him uneasy. The 'shite at begging' remark would have been funny in any other situation, but what if Sav had been serious and was now trying to play it down?

They needed to talk. Not that Jani was keen on talking, but he wanted to understand Sav. If Sav wanted him to, well, submit and all that crap, Jani couldn't imagine he'd really like that but he was willing to give it at least a try. However, he wanted to know beforehand what he was getting himself into. He didn't think there was anything wrong with having fantasies that some other people would term deviant. However, although he considered himself curious and open to suggestions he'd prefer if such a suggestion weren't sprung on him when they were right in the middle of heat and action. So the solution was to take Sav's hands and tell him how he'd perceived and not understood the situation and ask Sav to explain to him what he'd missed, so they both knew what the other thought and they could avoid such a situation in the future.

There was, however, a scary thought nagging him in the back of his mind. What if he and Sav had talked about this just prior to engaging in sex? What if Jani had had another blackout? He still had no clue what had happened earlier on their way from the airport, although he'd been relieved when Sav hadn't pursued the topic any further after Jani had reassured him that he was fine. And he was fine, he felt fine, but what if he'd had another such episode and couldn't remember it? If he asked Sav to discuss the begging thing and it turned out that they had already discussed it without Jani remembering it, Sav would insist on taking him to a doctor. Before his mental eye, Jani saw himself admitted for observation at a hospital. It would cost him his night with Sav, the last for months to come, and also tomorrow's gig, which would get him fired from Sonata.

It wasn't an option.

It also meant that he had a problem now. He'd asked Sav if they could talk for a moment, so if he wasn't going to address what had just happened, he needed to come up with another topic – and it had to be a serious or 'deep' one. Well, maybe there was a chance to delay that for another minute, Jani thought as he moved and noticed the impressive puddle under himself.

"Uh, I should probably fetch a towel and wipe this mess up," he said. "Unless we want to sleep in it... Maybe I should start wearing condoms, too..." A thought occurred to him that could serve as distraction. "I'm just thinking... Well, when I was younger I actually did wear a condom now and then when doing myself because, see, the thought of what one usually wears them for was quite a turn-on for me back then."

Jani met Sav's eyes and blushed.

* * *

He was out, and dealt with the usual yuck of condom disposal. Jani remained mostly quiet, perhaps gathering his thoughts. What if... Sav began to get a little nervous. What if he'd done something wrong again without realising it? Well, if so, he could only try to explain, or fix it.

Then Jani suggested a towel to clean up the mess of his spunk. "I'll get it," Sav volunteered. "At least some of it is my fault. Sleeping in the wet spot isn't especially fun." His bed was so huge they could avoid it, or they'd been too fucked out to care. He went into the bathroom and grabbed two, just in case, then also wetted a wash cloth under warm water in case Jani needed it. That all bought him a few seconds.

Returning, he found Jani still on his knees. Huh. Sav sat down on the edge of the bed where they could easily look at each other and handed over the towels. "Wasn't sure what we'd need, exactly." Jani's story about wearing a condom to bring himself off was kind of bittersweet. They could have never... if they'd met then. Jani would have been underage and even without that impossible complication, the age difference would have been much more pronounced. "That was... hopeful? That you experimented with condoms on your own. Better than, in the heat of the moment with a girl, ripping two and having only one big enough to fit your arm left."

Not sure what to say, Sav paused. Jani was usually too direct for this to be the source of 'need to talk about it'. Was he using the anecdote as a stepping stone to something else? It seemed likely. "Do you want to hear a story of my misspent youth, too? I have lots. Or..." he finally just spit it out. "What's really on your mind?" He hoped that Jani hadn't decided it was too risky to stop using condoms even after being tested. Did he not trust Sav after all? Did he not trust himself?

* * *

Jani was tempted to respond something like, 'actually, it was _all_ your fault', but he feared that would bring them too close to the subject he'd meanwhile decided he didn't want to discuss. So he was relieved when Sav commented on his condom confession. "Um, by that time I'd already had my first experience with a girl," he laughed a little nervously at sharing the memory. "Apparently, guitarists see even more action than the proverbial pilots. Worked for me back then, only not as much as I'd have liked, that's why I started using them on my own, too. Still, when asked, I kept telling people that I only took up guitar in order to get laid."

He leaned closer and grinned. "Wanna hear a secret?" he stage-whispered. "It's a lie. Truth is, I _really_ like to play guitar." Jani giggled, then continued, ignoring Sav's question as to what really was on his mind. "So, you mentioned stories of your misspent youth. Of course I want to hear one. Make that many. Anything you're happy to share, I'll be happy to listen to. I want to know everything there is to know about you."

* * *

"Yeah?" Sav shifted to a more comfortable position. Now that he'd offered, which tale of debauchery could he even dare to repeat? Jani's had been almost... innocent. "Okay. Well, this was more like a group adventure. These days, our gigs have a fenced-off space on the floor between the stage and the audience, like in Milan. You know how it is in smaller places, pubs and smaller venues when you're getting started: the audience if you're lucky enough to have one is two feet away. There was this one night we were second from the last act, somewhere in north London. Like we talked about, we were of course all wearing our tightest trousers, and I mean, like, spray-painted on. The stage was tiny, and just far enough off the ground that the front rows' faces were right at crotch level."

Even to him, even now, the tale smacked of pure weirdness. "So... It was... a number of factors. Maybe this particular pub was built on one of those places they talk about where the fae cross between worlds. They were out of any kind of beer but what they brewed locally, and it was rank, sort of musty. Later, we were all sure we'd been under the influence of something we'd never tried before. As we played, the music got more intense, like... sexual. We were..." Sav rolled his eyes. It was so silly. "...gyrating and like, grinding and stuff. Or, it just mighta been a response to the drunk hen party down in front getting wildly out of control. They were all miming oral stuff the whole set, wolf-whistling, hooting, putting hands on us if they could. One of them kept yelling at me that she liked my balls. Like, ten times! I can't even remember leaving the stage... just someone unzipping my trousers, being groped and caressed and floating off somewhere. That was my first three-way and the first time I got my balls licked. I'd swear one of those girls was blue and the other one had wings but... I dunno."

He didn't have any further clear memories of those ladies, or whatever they were, to elaborate on. "At arse-o'clock in the morning, we all sort of came to in our van out in the alley behind the place. We just sat there, compared stories while we tried to piece it all together. Pete confessed he'd had to play the last four songs with a boner, which everyone saw because he strapped his guitar so high. He claimed to have been blown by the bride to be, among others. Joe bragged that he'd laid 17 chicks in a row. No one believed him. Steve and Rick kept looking at each other sideways, snorting and giggling. "Orgy," said one. "Fuck-pile," said the other. They were high as fucking kites, totally useless. Finally they got out of the van to have a piss. Steve squawked because Rick accidentally peed on his boot. We heard some scuffling and thought they were fighting; Pete went to investigate, found them snogging and punched Steve in the gut. That half-way sobered us up, and we hit the road. The bragging went round and round, by the time they got back to me, I was half asleep, hung-over; someone said I was about as friendly as a bear with a sore arsehole. Which prompted more giggling. I think I muttered something like, "Why are we playing music? These women just wanna look up our bollocks" which naturally found its way online years later."

Sav stopped. Wow, he'd really run off at the mouth again. "So, uh... what sort of crazy shit has happened to you?"

* * *

"I'm afraid I don't have anything to share like this," Jani said. "It sounds as if someone slipped you something. You know that I've never done drugs, but as I always needed to get hammered to even go on stage, most of my road stories are more of the, well, disgusting type. Like that night only a few weeks ago when I was so hungover that I was sick in the side-drop while my tech was holding my hair away so I wouldn't puke on it while I was continuing to play. The others told me afterward that my playing had been okay, but you can guess that they weren't amused." He cringed.

"And when it comes to sex on the road, the craziest I can remember – and wish I couldn't – was that one night when I was drunk, of course, and had sex with a girl, then threw up all over her while fucking her... But sorry, that's not the kind of thing you wanted to know about me. I really shouldn't talk about such events, sorry." He looked down. "All the more reason to cut down on my drinking."

* * *

Sav nodded, he agreed they'd been roofied or something, then shut up and listened to the retelling of 'events' that Jani was not so proud of these days, wondering what he could do to ease his lover's discomfort. When Jani finished by saying his history served as a reason to cut down drinking, Sav couldn't disagree. He had had similar reasons. "I know what you mean – I've got a few stories of the disgusting variety, too, don't worry. Happens to the best of us. I've been barfed on, peed on, had snot wiped on me, bled on if you know what I mean... women... Been too drunk to remember what – or who – I'd done the night before, well, too many times for my taste. I couldn't hold my liquor when I started; unlike you, I did puke in my hair, more than once. And apparently I used to have a propensity for pissing in the shower, drunk and post-sex. I don't remember! Never actually blew chunks on stage but there were several near misses..." he cringed. "You probably didn't want to know that, either. Now we're even."

"All we can do is move on, learn from our mistakes," Sav found himself saying. Did he sound like an AA meeting or what? "And hopefully not repeat them. Besides," he shrugged, "almost everyone experiments and does stupid shit when they're young. You value your own life enough to make some changes from your past habits." Meeting Jani's eyes, he finished softly, "I'm so glad we met. And... everything. You mean so much to me."

* * *

"Not long ago I didn't value my life much," Jani admitted softly. "All the trouble with the band, my girlfriend, my... mistress, the drinking. That day in Milan, I was close to giving up. I don't mean killing myself, but stop caring altogether. Stay drunk until Anni kicked me out, end up living on the street, I dunno, freeze to death come winter. I felt dead inside, as if actually dying wouldn't have made much of a change. It's weird that I only see that now, in hindsight, how far gone I was."

He took Sav's hand. "Then, when I fell and broke my hand, you were more concerned about me than I was. You took care of me. You were there for me and somehow I could see that there was a lot worth living for. At first I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I didn't deserve such goodness. I didn't want you to see how much of a loser I really am and yet I wanted to be honest with you. Still want, but..." Jani bit his lip, overcome by a sudden urge to tell Sav the truth about his infection.

"I didn't exactly lie to you but I may not have told you everything about my hand. It was... a... little worse than I wanted you to know." He looked down. "I'm sorry.

* * *

Sav's guts turned to ice when Jani told him that he'd more or less lost the will to live, only to thaw when Jani went on to say he didn't feel that way any longer. While he didn't feel like he deserved – that word again! – any credit for the younger man's change in outlook, any small nudge in the right direction his presence had provided, well, he was nothing but relieved. He could only nod again. It had been more than two months between Milan and when they'd met again at Ankkarock, and even after the night in the A&E and communicating by text and email between, things had been tenuous. Sav knew that was his fault, with his preconceptions and expectations. Anything could have happened between those two dates. And now, he learned there'd been more going on with Jani than he'd even guessed.

"It... it may not have been my business," he said slowly. "At the time. Whatever it was you didn't tell me. You don't have to... but you can, if you want to." Reaching out with one hand, he touched Jani's cheek, using his thumb to stroke across the smooth, thin skin below his eye.

* * *

"I'm not sure 'want' is the word I'd choose," Jani said slowly. "Back then, well, I was really sick and although I knew you were special, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want you to worry about me, which you probably would have if I'd told you. More so because you were on the road with all the stress that comes with touring and there wouldn't have been anything you could have done. Also, I didn't know you well, how you'd react. Then, receiving bad news by email, there were so many reasons for not telling you. But now, it's different."

He looked Sav in the eye and read no blame there, just patience. "I never lied to you about this, just never mentioned that the infection in my finger, the one I'm still on medication for, wasn't just in my finger. It spread to my body and I spent some time in the hospital. I... meant to tell you already when we were at your place, but there was never a good time for it. In case you've been wondering about the antibiotic and anti-inflammatory drugs I'm taking, they're to make sure this infection doesn't flare up again. That really sucked," he shuddered.

"But they've got nothing to do with a potential STD. As far as I know I never contracted one but it's been a while since I got tested and I'm mainly, well, anal," Jani gave Sav a weak grin, "about condoms so you won't catch anything off me in case I'm wrong. I mean they ran a lot of tests on me at the hospital, but I guess not those."

"Sav," Jani took a deep breath, "I want to go bare with you, once I know I'm safe. I trust you that you'll only do this if you're safe, too, and I need you to be able to trust me. That's why I told you about this illness now."

* * *

"Mm. You're right that I would have worried, if you'd told me when it was happening." Sav could see the sense in Jani keeping his illness to himself back then. He didn't have to like it. But he could also be an adult about it, because it wasn't about him. Those events were already in the past. "And you're also right that there'd have been nothing I could have done, other than stew about it. So... I understand. Thank you for telling me now."

He mulled it over. In hospital for 'a few days'. It must have been bad. Really bad. "Still recovering explains why you've needed a lot of sleep, well, besides us wearing each other out. The pills... people take them for all kinds of reasons and I'm not medically trained. I won't lie either, I'll admit that antibiotics for a young seemingly-healthy person kind of infers... but we talked about it and you said you're clean and how you know that you are, and I believe you. We already trust each other enough to not use rubbers for blow jobs. Thank god!" This might be Jani's normal habit... yuck, though. The idea of latex in his mouth wasn't exactly erotic.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the mention of going bare, the thought, visualisation, the fantasy of it, had Sav growing half-hard again, which he didn't bother to try to hide. Words were suddenly a difficult concept for his tongue to handle. "I can't wait for that, either... wanna feel you – for real – on me. 's gonna be so fucking hot! Want you to be able to feel every drop of my... juices... painting your insides." His heartbeat and breathing accelerated. "If you're into that. Uh... I think we need to know for sure that we're safe, I mean clean, to fully enjoy it. There's about a 99.9 percent chance that I am, gonna get checked the moment I'm home again."

* * *

"Well, I have to see my Doc on Monday for the next check-up and I'll ask them to arrange some tests. Next time we meet... I can't wait to feel you in me without a barrier. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to leak your juices after you've shot me full of them." Jani's face turned so red that he feared the skin would burn off. "If you tell anyone I said this, I'll probably have to kill you," he groaned and laughed at the same time.

* * *

Sav could feel his eyes widen, and he drew in a deep breath through his nose, almost like a elongated gasp. "I... I wouldn't tell! My god, Jani! You'll give me an aneurysm in both heads at this rate!" Based on his beet red face, Jani's little confession was very explicit, even for him, as matter-of-fact about such things as he tended to be.

Beet red, or make that reddish-purple, was the colour of Sav's dick now, standing straight up from his lap. His nipples were so hard, they actually stung. "You can bet I'll fill you so full you leak... your, or my, underwear is going to be even more of a mess. The first time we do it raw you'll get about a litre from me.... when we know when it'll be, I'll stop touching myself till..."

Well, that was in the future. Sav hadn't registered reaching for himself, but his fingers slid up his dick and he was biting his lower lip, moving his thighs apart. "Whoops... involuntary." He pulled his hand away with a lopsided grin. "Wanna take over?"

* * *

"Sorry, not sure I can," Jani winced. "It's only been a few minutes and it... or should I say _he,"_ he nodded at his limp dick, "seems to need a little more rest. I'll be happy to offer you my mouth, though." Jani grinned and licked his upper lip with the tip of his tongue.

* * *

"No, I know.... dunno what's up with me, besides this..." Sav groaned when Jani offered his mouth and licked his lip. Now he was between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Jani had offered... it _was_ really soon... Maybe they should wait, but he didn't want Jani to feel rejected, either. "You know I'll return the favour or whatever else you want, any time you're ready. If you'd rather wait we could just lay here and hold each other for a while, but if you want to, you know I won't say no."

* * *

"Do I want to? Try to stop me!" Jani laughed. "Or, if it's too soon and you're too sensitive, I could just lick you a little. Isn't there something they call cock-warming? I've never, well, obviously I never did it to anyone, but I've never been on the receiving end either." He blushed. "If I could get it up, I'd usually want to finish, and if I'd, uh, finished and could come again, I would, and after _that_ I usually didn't want to be touched any longer. Or I was too drunk to remember, of course." He made a face.

"I'm happy to try it if you'd like, or I could do more. Up to you what feels best for you. You know that I can never get enough of you."

* * *

"Not gonna try to stop you, no way," Sav chuckled. "So... 'Cockwarming'... you've heard of that, huh?" Though he shouldn't have been, he was surprised. Until recently, Jani had been inexperienced with men, but not with sex in general. "I'm no expert on 'The Lifestyle', or practicing BDSM kinks on a day-to-day basis. That's what I heard about it in reference to, and I believe it involves a soft cock or a very talented throat." All of that was probably a discussion for another time. From what he'd gathered, people played by insanely complex rules and even signed contracts to specify what they would and would not do. That was far too complicated for him. Not that he'd mind Jani's mouth on him for hours if they had that sort of time, which they didn't.

Anyway, Sav liked the other suggestion better. "Licking sounds like heaven to me, I'm a little bit sensitive yet, as you put it. Just lightly, teasing... that little trick you do with foreskin, mmmm...!"

* * *

"Wait, what? BDSM? Um, not sure I understand," Jani looked at Sav. "I thought I'd take your dick in my mouth and keep it there, lick it for a while, only without the purpose of making you come. I wasn't aware that that could fall under BDSM." He chuckled nervously. "Don't forget that I'm still fairly new to this. Seems like there's a lot to learn – not that I mind, but for now I was really thinking only of a little being nice to your dick."

Jani smiled. "And yeah, I like that foreskin thing being done to me, so I tried it on you. That's one thing I learned already, that I'm not the only one who enjoys it." He beamed. "Right then, I'll get to it." He made to move and hesitated. "Unlike you want a kiss first, of course," Jani winked. "I mean on your lips."

* * *

Sav blinked at Jani's reaction at first. He'd better downplay the 'Lifestyle' thing, fast. How had that even come up? His stupid mouth again, getting him into trouble with random comments! "I'm not entirely sure myself, I think it has to do with the dominance-submission aspect. Ignore that, I'm probably loopy from, er, blood loss," he smirked.

Jani started to move into position, then he stopped himself. Perhaps he needed some further closeness first, before more overtly sexual touching. Or maybe some space. Talking about potential future acts was different than getting down to it. "A kiss first sounds nice... all of what you're suggesting does. We may as well be comfortable. Here," Sav offered Jani a towel or washcloth, which he was still holding. "I should be more considerate. Sorry. Small break to clean up from round one first?"

* * *

"Well, I guess you could say I'm curious, so if you have ideas we could try out you could probably get me interested," he grinned. "But tonight... is our last night for a while, so I'd rather put such... topics on the... I was going to say bucket list... is that a suitable expression here? I've heard it for things to do before you die, which I certainly don't intend to anytime soon, but before I go, I'll want to... explore a lot of things with you."

While they were speaking, Sav offered him a washcloth. "A little cleaning won't hurt before our home-made superglue forces us to – what did you call it, manscape? – and I'd rather keep my hair, both on my head and below. After that, definitely kiss, then more." Jani beamed.

* * *

Sav was pleased to hear more adventurous practices weren't entirely off the table, down the road. He smiled, "Bucket list used to be in relation to terminally ill people, cancer, ALS, that kind of thing. Lately, the meaning's become looser, for anyone's list of things they want to do before they die. So long as you're okay and antibiotics will take care of it, let's add it to the list along with the rest of the rooms in my house."

As for clean-up, "I'll mop up what's on the sheet, you should probably handle yourself," his smile widened, "till you've fully recovered." Sav used the other towel for that, the folded it and turned it over to pat the area dry. "'Human super glue', good one," he giggled. "If I want the professionals to be able to do their jobs, I'd best leave them some hair to yank out. Alright, done." Tossing the towel in the direction of the bathroom, he turned to Jani, willing him with his eyes to be ready for something, anything, and held out his arms.

* * *

"OK, thanks, bucket list it is," Jani smiled. "And I hope we'll get to empty that bucket soon – and fill it again. Where for once I don't mean with spunk but with, um, interesting ideas."

Sav began to wipe up the puddle they – okay, Jani – had left on the bed and Jani giggled. "If by handling myself you're referring to what I was, well, referring to earlier as handle, there isn't much to handle right now. I have no doubt that this is a very temporary state and I'll make the best out of it by snuggling up with you and licking you. But you're right, a quick wash of the, um, handle first, and before that..."

He stepped into Sav's arms and inhaled his lover's scent. "Oops, maybe you'd better come with me if you want to leave, as you said, some hair to yank out – ouch by the way, sure you want to do that? Anyways, I've smeared my superglue all over you again." He grinned. "Not sorry, though."

* * *

Sav took his time holding Jani against him, letting his hand glide over his skin. Now he was sticky, too. Oh well! "When I said handle, I meant wash. Wash your handle." He snorted. "I'm not sorry, either. It washes off. And you were planning to wear mine, anyway, to the festival. At the rate we're going, it'll be like spackle."

"Yeah, I know, the things we do, huh?" Sav wrinkled his nose. "Maybe not you. Getting waxed _is_ 'ouch'. But... it sounds stupid when I say it out loud: I'm expected to look a certain way. At least I'm not super hairy. Every time I change my hair or style of clothes, the fans go batshit online. Or so I hear, later. It'd probably be the same for you to some degree if you cut your hair short or stopped dying it red. Anyway..." he slid his palm down Jani's back, but didn't go lower. Not yet. Jani had taken a big whiff of him, and now Sav did the same. If smell really did imprint the deepest into one's subconscious, he wanted to take every opportunity to refresh the unique scent stored in his memories.

"You said I should come with you. Where are we going? Or did you mean orgasm?" It felt good to trade double meanings and little jokes that were sort of 'theirs'. Sav kissed Jani's neck below his ear, then his lips, then the other side of his neck where he inhaled pure pheromones from Jani's hair again.

* * *

They stood in their hotel room lost in time, enjoying each others warmth and proximity while Sav explained why he had to wax. Once again, Jani was glad that he wasn't that level of famous. Still, even if he were, he didn't think he'd let the fans' expectations force him into doing something he didn't want, but he was from another generation and also culture, so his and Sav's situation couldn't really be compared.

When Sav asked where Jani wanted him to follow, Jani laughed. "To the bathroom. Clean up, remember? Your idea initially," he winked. "But you have a point," he continued and leaned down a little to kiss Sav's collarbone, "I'm going to want you to _come_ with me very soon."

Reluctantly, he stepped out of the embrace and led the way to the bathroom where he wetted a wash cloth with warm water and wiped his belly down. Sav had meant to do that earlier but somehow they'd ended up talking and then forgot about it. He rinsed the cloth and took another one, then turned to Sav. "Do you want me to," he smirked, _"do you?"_

* * *

In the bathroom, Jani did handle himself, as in wash. Somehow, despite each of them having had a cloth to do so in their hands in the room, neither of them had got around to it. Sav stood idly by, watching, waiting for his turn. Then Jani asked if he should 'do him' and Sav sucked in another breath.

Jani meant wash him. Sav repeated that to himself inside his head about five times, 'He means wash,' to calm himself. His dick was raging hard again, after having gone down slightly when they'd not started fooling around. Still, what if he invited it...? Jani was wearing one hell of a smirk, his mouth in such a wide grin it was like, splitting his face. Raising an eyebrow, Sav assumed a similar expression. "Yeah... do me."

* * *

When Sav confirmed and invited him to 'do him', Jani felt hot and cold shivers run through his body. For a moment, he wondered if Sav could actually mean... No, it wasn't possible, and even if it were, he wasn't going to ruin their last day together on the off-chance that Sav would actually let him... well, _do him._ Later, another day, they both agreed that they were in this for the long run. Impatience was Jani's real middle name, not the ones his parents had given him, but he'd somehow manage to wait until they – he – was ready for this.

After wetting another cloth, he approached Sav and began to dab at his erection. Jani had come once more in the morning but considering that Sav sometimes gave him the impression of being uncomfortable about his age, the purple hardness he found quivering against his touch didn't lack anything. Maybe he should be concerned that his own dick was, although interested, nowhere near as hard as Sav's.

"Is this okay or should I rather use my tongue to clean you up?" he asked in a raspy voice.

* * *

"How about... just wash with the cloth? I know you don't mind the taste of yourself but it's already drying." Sav braced his feet and rested his hand on the sink. He wasn't smiling as widely, but made sure Jani would know this was not in any sense a rejection by saying, "Make me wait... till you really want it bad. We'll both enjoy ourselves more. Too bad they don't have sex shops at the airport... we could shop for a toy for you while I'm aching for it," he grinned.

* * *

"Wait a minute..." Jani continued to carefully wipe Sav's dick, which wasn't difficult given how hard it was. "I'm not sure I'd be ready to enter a sex shop with you – public and all that – but how about we check online? You could help me choose a toy or two for me that I could have delivered to my place in Kemi."

* * *

It wasn't easy to keep still, but Sav managed, somehow, other than the way his erection wanted to 'follow' after Jani's hand. "Yeah, definitely. That's a better idea anyway, unless I want to risk getting arrested or at least run off the premises. I wasn't entirely serious, you know. Online sounds like fun... and private." Sav didn't know why, he couldn't seem to stop thinking of them together doing whatever they wanted to. He supposed it was part of the whole 'spoiled rock star' thing and told himself – again – to stop being so presumptuous. "My computer or yours?" he laughed.

* * *

"I dunno, I guess it won't make much of a difference," Jani said as he looked around for a towel that he used to carefully blot Sav's dick dry. "Unless you have bookmarks on your comp for, well, good sex toy shopping. I mean, I watch porn, but this..." He giggled. "Although we could try google. What do you think, how many billion hits would we get for entering 'sex' and 'buy' as search terms?"

* * *

It seemed like Jani was done with his self-assigned task now. "Thank you for taking such good, considerate care of me. As always." Sav leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Jani's lips, then continued their... discussion.

"Well, I know of a couple of, er, reputable sites," Sav might have blushed a little, silly since he'd just been talking about walking into a local store. "The question would be if you like their merchandise and if they'll ship internationally. If we do need to google," okay, now he was squirming, "I can tell you the names of the toys I have, and that might narrow it down by a few million."

* * *

"Yes, please, that would be very helpful," Jani nodded. "I wouldn't know where to start looking. I, um, well," he squirmed a little, "before things went downhill with my girlfriend... the one I was with before Anni... we joked about getting her a toy for when I was on the road for weeks. I tried to find her one in Helsinki as a surprise present but there were just too many to choose from. When I told her, she..."

He broke into laughter. "You're going to love this. If you believe it, that is. Maybe it's just another weird thing Finns do, but I swear that's where she got her toy in the end. See, they do sex toy parties. Like other people do, I don't know, Tupperware parties, Finnish women do that for sex toys. It's getting less nowadays with everything available online, but back then this was the way to go, with the one who threw the party explaining how to use the devices they were selling – thank goodness I have you for that," Jani smiled.

* * *

This was news to Sav, sex toy parties, but then he hadn't even thought about Tupperware in years and he knew women used to have parties for that. He left the bathroom, grabbed his backpack, and re-seated himself on the bed, drawing his legs up to sit cross-legged, while he continued speaking. "Huh, interesting concept. I'll bet there's so much giggling, they can hear it in Sweden. Or are Finnish women more pragmatic? If it were me, I'd be more embarrassed, if I got embarrassed, to order such a thing in front of close friends, as opposed to going into a shop where I didn't know anyone."

He'd been about to say, why would a woman need the usage of something like that explained, but then he recalled some of the devices he'd seen online, including double-pronged ones that a man could never use, and reconsidered. "The 'teachers' at these parties must have some big balls, forgive the expression. Wow."

Thinking of him and his band and their closest crew sitting around, comparing toys, Sav still couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Mal and Wolfie, for example, were great at their jobs but he didn't want to think about them having sex. "I'm happy to explain and demonstrate for you or on you, any time," he added, though he'd said so before. "If you're serious about online shopping, let's do that now. We can come back to it later if we get distracted." The likelihood of that was high. For the moment, he unzipped the padded pocket his laptop slid into and withdrew it.

* * *

"I wouldn't know, these parties were women only," Jani said and blushed furiously. "You can bet that I tried everything to wiggle my way into one of those, but without success. As for being embarrassed, maybe it's less embarrassing when everyone who knows what you bought, bought something for themselves, too. As for teaching, considering that I've taught more than one girl how to, uh, do herself, I think the ladies who run these parties deserve respect..." He interrupted himself and smiled.

"Not everybody has you to show them how such a toy can be used. And yes, I'm serious about online shopping. I don't think I'll have time tomorrow, those shops tend to open late and I need to travel to Imatra. From there, we're going back to Kemi by bus, so there won't be an opportunity for me to go, um, sex toy shopping for a while. So," he'd followed Sav back to their room and watched him unpack his laptop computer, "I want to feel you. Can you sit on the bed and I'll sit between your legs? So we can both look at the screen and be close to each other? I won't complain if you hump my back and I don't think it'll be long before I'll be ready for more again," Jani leered.

* * *

In answer, Sav moved to the middle of the bed, back against the headboard tacked to the wall, made room for Jani between his legs, and patted the mattress there. "I probably won't be able to help some subtle humping... as long as you don't mind, I'm likely to indulge us."

He welcomed the warmth and the solid planes of Jani's body. Hugging him close for a moment, he reached again for his computer and handed it to Jani, telling him the website URL. "So..." he picked up where Jani had left off on another subject. "You said you taught a girl to... do herself? I want to hear about it... if that's alright with you. I've never had that opportunity, really."

* * *

"Actually, I think I showed more than one girl," Jani said, blushing again. "See, when I was still... young and, well, inexperienced, I dated a girl who was a couple years older. She, well, had to show me what she liked because I didn't have much of a clue. Sex ed in school was mostly about how to not get pregnant, but not so much about how to enjoy. With guys it's pretty obvious, I mean, I had figured out that rubbing my dick felt good years before I could get hard, much less shoot. What girls liked, well, from what I learned in school and what other guys told me, I thought all you have to do is stick it in and that's what gives girls an orgasm." Jani grimaced.

"I needn't tell you that's not how it works for a lot of them. So this older chick gave me a proper introduction to her clit, how to touch her, that she loved it when I licked it, and so on. Let's just say, the experience of making a woman scream with ecstasy... It made me feel like a _man,_ not just an ape with a penis. Imagine my surprise when I found out that there were girls who'd never learned that. So they knew about their clit, obviously, but, maybe, went at it too hard, not aware that with some only gently works. Or they expected to come when the guy sticks his dick in her, just like I thought initially, and then thought there was something wrong with them. And, well, there are men who then tell them they're frigid if they don't get off on his miracle cock."

He shrugged. "But it doesn't matter because there's only one person I want to have sex with in the future, and that's you." He smiled as he turned his head so he could see Sav's face before focusing on the laptop screen again. "And since you're not always around you're now helping me to find a, well, vibrating plastic Sav." He grinned. "So, any recommendations?"

* * *

Though Jani couldn't see him, Sav nodded as he retold being educated by a slightly older girlfriend, and then being able to pass along what he'd learned. While he spoke, he let his hands rest on Jani's thighs and yes, his hard-on was pulsing between them. "Now here, I can tell right away we're from different generations. When I was in my teens, I mean we learned about anatomy and birth control, too, but no one gave much thought to whether the woman enjoyed it. More like, will she let you. Did you score. It makes me cringe. I probably never said the words 'orgasm' or 'clitoris' out loud till I was 22 or something." Yes, he had wanted to be considered good at sex, who didn't, but until he'd taken it up the arse, he'd been clueless that there was a lot more to it than kiss, touch, get hard, undress, fuck. Being on the receiving end had really opened his eyes. Jani, on the other hand, hadn't needed to get fucked to become a giving lover.

Hearing Jani relate feeling like a man to being able to make a woman 'scream in ecstasy' somehow shocked Sav to the core of his being. It was both primitive and beyond the comprehension of most men he'd ever talked to about such things. Giving, instead of taking. Women he came into contact with on tour and at band functions knew how to get themselves off.

"'Miracle cock'," he snorted. "Maybe if real dicks vibrated, we'd have better luck. I, uh, don't get me wrong, I like sex with women, too. Being with you, though, is so far beyond. You respond so... honestly. I want to give you the best you've ever had, so many different facets, make it good. Make you moan and scream and come bucket-loads. And when we can't get it up anymore, I want us to feel comfortable with each other, to hang out or play or whatever."

Pointing at the menu on the left side of the page, Sav directed, "Okay, here... Here, click on the link for vibrators, then lifelike. I like silicon because it's easy to clean and it's a little bit more textured than plastic... Size, do you want one close to me, a bit or smaller like I used on you at home?"

* * *

"I want that, too," Jani said softly. He took his hands off the keyboard so he could caress Sav's legs. "Everything you said you want to do to and with me. I want the same with you." He smiled. "So far I think we're doing a good job with that."

He let go of Sav's leg with his right hand and clicked on the link Sav indicated and frowned at the screen. "If I had the choice, my number one would obviously be to keep the original with me at all times – I mean with the rest of you attached, of course! Second, wouldn't it be nice if they made casts?" He giggled. "But since they don't... Let's find one that's close to the one you used on me. If I had one your actual size, I'm not sure I could do it. This..." Jani interrupted himself an bit his lip. Then he set the computer aside and wiggled around until he was in Sav's lap again, now facing him.

"I'm not into pain," he confessed, "but that first moment when you push in... when your, um, head spreads me wide... there's always this split second where it hurts even if I relax, where I think I can't take it. And yet in this moment it feels so incredibly good that it's almost a kind of orgasm itself. But that's something that won't work with a toy, at least not if I'm the one using it on me. So it'll have to be a smaller one. But buying it'll have to wait, because, see," he nodded down to where their erections met between their bodies, "right now I have other needs."

Jani's dick was so hard it bordered on painful and his hole was throbbing. "Sav," Jani moaned, "I need you to fuck me, here and now, right how we are. Please tell me that we've got supplies within arm's reach. I want to, make that I _need to_ ride you, now, facing you. Just condom and lube, no more prepping. I'm still open from earlier and the only stretching I want is when you... God, Sav," he stopped himself. "Please hurry up and fuck me!"

* * *

"Definitely nice... a good job." Sav wasn't sure if anyone had ever taken the time to touch his legs like that, stroking and caressing them. His arms got a lot of attention from women. This was just as pleasant, and unexpected, new and different. The hairs ruffled and it gave him gooseflesh all the way up to his balls.

He had to laugh when Jani brought up casting him. "There's this ex-groupie in the States who makes plaster molds of musicians' dicks, calls it art. She'd kind of famous for it. Before you ask, no, I've never done that!" Before he could go on to suggest that he would if having a copy would help to keep Jani satisfied, the guitarist turned around in his lap and pressed against him, totally shorting out his train of thought.

He wouldn't need to offer, for now. Maybe one day, Jani would graduate to something bigger to shove into himself when he imagined Sav impaling him; he hadn't the practice yet. Listening to Jani tell how he felt – sensation-wise – about being penetrated with their junk mashed together vein to vein and bollock to bollock, Sav was incredibly turned on to the point were he was now leaking a droplet or two of slick, and also filled with something like aroused awe at the words Jani found to express himself. He rasped, "I get it... that seemingly impossible stretch, a flash of sweet hot pain, then being fucked open and filled. If you want it that way, I'll do you that way." He believed Jani, that he wouldn't need prep after the short interim.

They could get back to their shopping later. Jani was stone hard; Sav had been on hold for a while and he needed it _now_. The supplies he'd left on the nightstand were in reach; he only had to lean to the side a bit to grab them. Condom first, then he tore open a sachet of lube and smeared it down his upright length, adding the last of it to the head, where they'd need it most. "I'm ready, Jani," he breathed, looking up into dilated blue eyes. "Get on and ride me." Sav practically strangled his latex-covered purple erection in one fist, holding it steady; the other hand went to Jani's hip, ready to pull him down.

* * *

Sav's reply almost sounded as if... Later. Jani's need to impale himself took over. In no time at all, Sav had rolled a condom down and slicked himself up, then told Jani that he was ready. "You're not kidding," Jani moaned as he lifted up and wiggled his hips until he felt Sav's dick nudge his entrance. Pressing down slowly at first, he could feel Sav's need, his impatience, and it fuelled his own – patience had never been a strength of his anyway, Jani thought as he bore down with full force, crying out at the sharp sensation of being stretched and filled to the brim almost at the same moment.

"Fuck, Sav, fuck, fuck fuck," Jani chanted as he immediately rose up as high as he could, so that Sav's crown opened him wide up again from the inside, too, without slipping out altogether. He held that position for a second, then impaled himself again forcefully – and froze.

"I... I'm not hurting you, am I?"

* * *

"Oh god, fuck yeah!!" Sav growled as Jani bore down, then engulfed him in tight heat. Knowing even more clearly what Jani was feeling and what it did for him made it even hotter, and Sav thrust upwards from below. Jani was just as unrestrained in his movements, riding him up and down, jerking his hips, rising up so far he caught his rim against Sav's corona before slamming down on him, bouncing on his balls. For someone who claimed not to like pain, Jani was repeatedly doing what he'd told Sav in no uncertain terms stretched him beyond his limits. Imagine his surprise when Jani froze and ask if he was hurting Sav.

"No, not at all! Please don't stop!" he pushed up into Jani again, as much as he could with no leverage. Wrapping his arms around him, Sav licked at his collarbone. "Don't stop, fuck Jani, need you so bad...!"

* * *

"Fuck, yeah," Jani groaned, "need you, too, gonna give... myself to you... all I have..." He resumed fucking himself on Sav's erection as hard and fast as he dared, driving down deep. "Fuck, Sav, I... I..." He wasn't going to last: Already his knees and thighs were protesting but he didn't care – if anything, they gave him another reason to race to the finish as fast as possible.

Sav hugged him without hindering his moves and bent forward to lick at his collarbone. Jani howled, close to being overwhelmed by the pleasure from the soft kiss that contrasted the hard fucking he delivered. "G-g-gonna... S-s-so c-clo- _Sav! Oh god, Sav! Yes! Yes! Saaavvvv...!!!"_

Jani's head fell back as his dick erupted in fountains of white-hot seed and his hoarse screech turned into a series of moans and gasps while his body convulsed in Sav's arms.

* * *

With Jani bucking all over him, yowling his name and how close he was, and then spraying his chest and belly with warm spunk, Sav had no idea how he held on. He was right on the edge, so close. Usually he preferred simultaneous climaxes, but now, he wanted to see and feel every nuance of Jani coming undone."Yes, yes, Jani, yes... gimme everything you have, come on me, god, fucking hell, so much juice, all over me!" he groaned, continuing to assist Jani rising and dropping upon him.

There was a certain fierceness about Jani when he came, something wild and untamed. His entire body seized up and started to shake as his balls ejected their last shots. Then he went slack, semi-conscious it seemed, the snarl smoothed into a rapturous delirium. As his eyelids fluttered closed, he slumped against Sav, who gathered him closer and held on, petting his hair while he whispered, "I love you, Jani, love you so much."

* * *

Eventually, Jani's balls had nothing more to give but Sav's dick was still rubbing against his spot, stimulating it, making his spermatic cords contract again and again, in vain. When his knees wouldn't support him any longer, Jani slumped down on Sav's lap, unable to move.

It took a while, but somehow it filtered through the bliss and the aftershocks into Jani's brain that Sav hadn't come. With a major effort, Jani won the fight against his drooping eyelids. "You haven't... Did I hurt you after all? But you said... What's wrong?"

* * *

"Nothing... nothing at all. I'm as far from hurt as it gets." Sav placed a line of kisses up the side of Jani's neck and into his hair, still holding him upright. "Couldn't be better. I have a sheet to mess up so I thought... I would wait and..."

He had slowed then stopped moving when Jani did, but wasn't any 'less' close than a moment ago. Why he'd suddenly thought of that silly sheet, he hadn't the slightest. Panting heavily, he wheezed, "If you'd rather feel it inside you, can I roll you on your back?"

* * *

"Thanks," Jani said sincerely. "I mean we've never done it with me like this... well, you know what I mean, and for a moment there I was concerned I'd hurt you." He kissed Sav's lips briefly before continuing. "And now I shall not keep you from your well-deserved orgasm any longer," he giggled

"Roll me on my back and have your way with me."

* * *

"If something hurt, I'd either stop you, pick you up and remove you, something. You didn't," Sav repeated, returning Jani's kiss. "I like it when you're... you know. When you lose yourself." If he waited much longer, he wasn't going to have the chance to perform the dance of sex and love he needed. True, Jani had finished, and Sav hoped that he had not disappointed him but most of their other times together it had been one man, then the other.

Sav leaned to the side, pulling Jani along with him, and maneuvered them till they were crossways on the bed. Jani's legs were still around him and he managed to stay lodged inside him, rolling till he was was on top. "Move with me," Sav whispered, as he pushed, pushed, needing in as deep as he could go. "Oh gaaaawwd, Jani!" It seemed like he'd repeated those semi-coherent words a hundred times in the last few days, yet this feeling, the need to fuck and rut got to him every time. It wasn't just the act, but having _this_ man under him, their mutual intensity seering him.

It was like there was too much to choose from, Sav didn't even know what to do. Fast or slow? Hold on tightly to Jani's body or caress him? Kiss or use his mouth in other ways? He let go of conscious thought and control. His body took over the mating ritual. Rhythmic, fast and rough, one hand curled around Jani's shoulder and the other clutching his arse to hold him at the best angle, Sav slid in, slid out, slammed, pounded, more and more emphatic as he held Jani's stare. His muscles tensed: his sac tightened painfully and he was there. Rearing up, he tossed his hair back off his sweating face and drove in one more time.

Thinking he would scream in release, Sav surprised himself by... not. He bent down again, needing Jani's kiss as he filled the condom, shot his dregs, kept spasming till he was shaking hard enough to rattle his bones. "So fucking good, I... never... can't..." What was he even saying? Nonsense. Finally Sav's body chose to turn to rubber and he lay heavily down, breathing hard.

* * *

Sav rolled them over without slipping out. As soon as they were repositioned, he set up a fast pace. After the first stab on his – now oversensitive – prostate, Jani shifted a little so that he could take Sav deep without discomfort. When Sav moaned and snarled, Jani smiled widely. He loved to reach the peak together with Sav, but watching his lover come undone had something, too.

"Go for it, that's it," Jani coaxed as Sav's thrusts became harder, needier, more demanding, then his rhythm began to falter as he sped up on the final ascent. Their eyes held each other – and then Sav was there. Jani felt him shudder and spasm as Sav emptied his essence into the condom. One day, he'd fill Jani with his seed, and Jani couldn't wait for it. Until then, he'd take what he was given and... With a final groan, Sav collapsed on top of him.

Remembering Sav's words when Jani had been spaced out with bliss only minutes ago, Jani whispered into his ear, "My Sav, I love you, too. Love you so much, you're forever in my heart."

* * *

Those words. Sav shivered again. He'd said similar ones when Jani worked himself into another explosive release, and had taken it in stride when Jani hadn't returned the words, knowing that really, his lover preferred to say it in his own language, and that it was a lot for him. He _had_ been howling other words, and then was completely out of it just after.

Hearing such tender and sincere things now, when he was already vulnerable, was almost too much. A few other people had said things like that to Sav but not for years and they'd never felt... real. This was real. Just as an orgasm hit in a tsunami of endorphins and come, his love for Jani swept him far, far out of everything he'd known before. It felt like drowning, only he wasn't going to die. He wanted to live! And keep feeling so loved.

Before he could move or stop it, tears had sprung up in Sav's stinging eyes. Oh, crap. Jani was going to think something was wrong. He tried to shift without it being noticed, but saltwater fell on Jani's skin, on his shoulder. It was just an overflow of emotion; he'd had it happen before, rarely. Blinking rapidly, Sav licked the salty fluid from Jani's skin. "In my heart, too. Always." Continuing with his tongue, Sav lapped his way down to one of Jani's nipples, easing his full weight off him. There, he licked once and blew a stream of air across it.

* * *

For a moment, Jani thought Sav was... was he crying? Jani's heart skipped a beat when Sav confirmed that they were in each others' hearts, then licked along his neck and chest.

"Sorry," Jani said regretfully when Sav licked and blew on his nipple. "I've got nothing left to give. My balls are aching – I hadn't expected to get it up for the round we just had, but this really is the limit for a while." He laughed. "We'll see how long that while lasts. Until then, let's continue on our quest for a toy?"

* * *

"Okay." Sav backed off, stopped playing around. He could take a hint. "Sometimes I need to sort of wind down. From what I gather, with most blokes, when they're done, they're done."

Jani had always preferred him not to pull out fast, Sav knew. "If you want to feel it when you sit down, ask me next time. We're gonna be sitting for a bit right now, I think we'll both like it better if you're squirming for other reasons." He held the base of the condom and slid out, taking care especially at the last so Jani wouldn't be left suddenly empty. Damn, Jani had done most of the work and still he felt a bit worn out. After another quick kiss, Sav climbed off Jani, off the bed, and steadied himself as he got up. Rubber disposed of in the bin across the room, he grinned, "I'll get some more wash cloths."

* * *

"Thanks," Jani groaned. "I don't think I want to move again, ever. Just stay here on the bed. With you, of course..." He yawned. "How d'you think about a nap?"

* * *

"You don't mind being sticky? Well, I suppose we can shower or whatever later. Separately, I mean." Yawns were always catching, and Sav yawned, too, covering his mouth with his hand. "Alright. I'll set my alarm just in case we don't wake up for some other reason." He sat down again, fished his phone out of his jeans pocket. "What time should I set it for? At very least, in case we totally crash, you need to make your train in the morning."

* * *

"I'm afraid I'm too tired to care," Jani admitted. "I'm going to regret this later, but..." he yawned again. "Sorry, I wasn't aware that I had an off switch. Yet another thing I learned with you... Ah, right, the morning... I'll leave with you when it's time for you to go to the airport. I'll take you there, then catch a shuttle to Helsinki and hop on the train, they go every hour."

* * *

"Mm." Sav powered down his computer and put it away. "Alright, sleep then." He wished he could hold the covers for Jani, but he was already lying down, obviously. With another yawn, Sav climbed in with him. There was one side of one of the towels that was still clean, and he wiped the mess off his front with it. Goddammit, there was so much more he wanted to do, from making sure Jani had the perfect toy to blowing him one more time, messing up the sheet, and he especially wanted to to put the man on his knees and rim him to the point of insanity, if only the little bugger would take a shower!

Well, he – they – had known this would happen. Maybe it was better to just sleep through the intervening hours rather than brood over it. Despite the fact that Sav hadn't really done anything too strenuous, the stress was starting to get to him, he could feel it. "I wanna hold you all night," he told Jani, moving so they were aligned. "Whatever is left of it."

* * *

Jani laughed softly. "I don't think it's very late yet, at least not in the Finnish time zone. The sun would set around eleven here, I'd say that's about now, and it rises around four. If we leave the blinds open – provided that you can sleep then, as it won't get pitch black – or set an alarm, that should give us time for another round. Or two if we skip breakfast," he winked.

* * *

"I don't need it pitch black, thanks to years on tour," Sav replied. "My flight leaves at 8:00AM sharp, so the sun coming up will be helpful. As for breakfast, I'll want breakfast in bed, if you know what I mean. Okay, I'll set it for... 5:00AM," he groaned. "That's six hours, and we can sleep later in the day, in transit." There, he cut himself off, made sure the alarm was set for the correct time – his mobile updated automatically when he travelled to different time zones – and set it on the night stand next to more packets they hadn't used yet.

Turning to Jani again, Sav held his arms so the younger man could move into them, if he wanted to. He wiggled closer. His eyes were almost falling shut on their own.

* * *

"You might end up with bruises from me clinging so hard," Jani warned as he moved up against Sav as close as he could, "but I have a feeling you won't mind," he smiled.

The smile turned into a yawn that felt as if it split his face into two. "Sleep well, my love..."

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Jani woke up when his bladder sent urgent signals to his brain. It was light outside, yet the alarm hadn't sounded, so he guessed it was between four and five in the morning. Their last morning together. He tried to push the thoughts from his mind as he carefully extricated himself from Sav, who was holding on to him, but rolled into the spot Jani vacated without waking when Jani got up. At least Jani hoped so.

After taking care of business, he frowned at the dried semen on his upper body and decided that a quick shower was in order. Grateful that he didn't have much chest hair, he got rid of the mess without involuntarily waxing himself. It was good to feel clean although he wouldn't shower again before the gig was over, so he could keep Sav's scent and seed – that he intended to have all over him again by the time they left the hotel – on him as long as possible. Jani brushed his teeth before returning to the bedroom, where he hesitated to crawl back into bed: Watching Sav sleep was an image he wanted to keep burned into his memory forever.

* * *

Sav reached for Jani, felt his warmth but not his body. He moved further toward... too tired... he fell back into the fuzzy remnants of the dream that had he'd been having, something about him and Viv hiding behind Joe, all of them standing in the middle of a country road...

It might have been a minute or hours later. The room was vaguely light, but Sav didn't think the sun was up yet. Like earlier when he'd half-woke, he was alone. Now, he wasn't willing to drift off again. "Jani...?"

* * *

"Yeah," Jani whispered. "I'm here. Needed a pee and since I was up anyway I thought a shower wouldn't hurt. Did I wake you up? I didn't intend to... And, um..." He hesitated. "Then I meant to come back to bed but when I saw you... I know how this must sound and I admit it's... creepy, but I, well, watching you sleep... You looked so peaceful and at ease..."

He approached the bed. "Get back to sleep?"

* * *

"Rllywchdmehsleep?" Sav mumbled, already going into a huge stretch and yawn. It seemed to take about a year. He decided not to tell Jani he'd done the same thing, back in Sheffield. "Well... since you're up... bed, sure but sleep? Maybe not. Unless you wanted to. I'm up." He flashed a grin and pushed himself into a sitting position.

In the midst of digging sand out of his eyes, it registered that Jani had said that he'd just showered. Hm, Sav wondered, how carefully was he going to have to approach this subject? "I, um... I know I said you could decide but I wanna... but you might think it's disgusting... but I don't..." Brain, get with the program, Sav grumbled to himself and sighed, flicking his hair back and looking up. "Fuck, I'll just say it. You know how sensitive you are... your, um, back door. I want to eat you out. Lick you and play with your rim... would you consider letting me do that?"

* * *

Watching Sav wake up was... The word that sprang to Jani's mind was 'cute'. It was wrong to refer to a grown man as cute, however, that's what Jani thought Sav looked like as he blinked and yawned and stretched. Then Sav made a suggestion that made Jani blink in turn.

"I... um... I'm not sure I understand... I mean I understand licking, but... eating me out?"

* * *

Sav reddened. If Jani wasn't making the connection – it was arse o'clock AM, after all – it might sound truly repulsive. But he had understood licking. "Erm, that's an expression. You know how a blow job isn't blowing, it's actually sucking? Or, if you eat out a woman, as in oral sex, that's mainly licking, not eating. No chewing, swallowing, or ingesting. Same idea here. Licking."

Either way, Sav needed to pee now, too. The power of suggestion and all that. "Here, why don't you make yourself comfortable on the bed while I take a piss. Another great expression, huh? Then maybe I can convince you with this..." Sav wasn't Gene Simmons, but he could waggle his tongue enough to get the point across. "Or we can just make out or whatever."

Before he had to dance his way there, Sav stepped into the bathroom and took care of draining the one-eyed. He washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and returned to the room. "So where's that sheet, or should we just forget about it?"

* * *

"Oh. _Oh!"_ Jani was sure his face would have turned purple if not for the sudden lack of blood when every single blood cell he owned suddenly rushed to fight for a place in his dick.

"I... guess I never heard that term before," he stammered. "Would I consider letting you do that... Hell yes," he blurted out. "Only... Well," Jani looked down, "I've never done this and I'm not sure if... if I can reciprocate... right now... I might need a little time – that we don't have – to get my head wrapped around this. I've really never... not with any of my girlfriends either... So if you'd rather reconsider..."

* * *

It was kind of cute, the way Jani was stammering. Here was a man who had taught at least two young ladies how to get themselves off, flustered. Sav forgot all about his own temporary disconcertment. "You needn't reciprocate... I haven't taken a shower this morning and so I wouldn't ask you to. If you don't like it, I'll stop." However, he doubted that Jani would be able to resist when he discovered what it felt like.

Once again, Sav stretched out on the bed. Maybe Jani's brain was having difficulties with the idea, but his dick certainly was showing interest. Holding out his hand, Sav invited, "We can start easier. Lay down with me, let me feel you, hold you."

* * *

"I, um, if you really... I should probably go have a more thorough wash..." Jani wasn't sure what he wanted to do. If Sav did... this... for him, it would feel wrong if he didn't return the favour, which he didn't know if he could. On the other hand, Sav pointing out that he hadn't showered suggested that Jani wasn't expected to... eat him out, too...

He laughed nervously. "Sorry. It appears that I'm a blushing virgin. What would you have me do?"

* * *

"Blow me," Sav cracked. Jani was still waffling. Did that mean he didn't want that after all? "Maybe later. Um, if you feel you weren't thorough enough, go take care of it. I'll wait. Jani... I admire your sense of fairness, but everything doesn't always have to be 100 percent equal. Let me spoil you! It evens out, one way or another."

The 'blushing virgin' comment only served to make Sav more determined to get his lover on his knees and his tongue exploring, tickling, pleasuring his most intimate place.

* * *

Jani laughed, a real laugh this time as his tension faded a little. "Oh yes, definitely," he confirmed. "Especially now that I know that blowing means sucking." He grinned, then joined Sav on the bed again. "I... I think I want that, want you to... Well. Let's start slow, like you said, just hug and feel for a minute."

* * *

"Mmm..." The noise wasn't really a moan or a hum but somewhere between the two, all agreement. Sav moved over and gathered Jani into his arms, taking a moment just to look at him, memorising – again – his features. Where Jani saw so many flaws, and Sav could admit his lover's looks did not entirely conform to the first world standard of beauty, he couldn't have cared less for one thing, and everything he did see was beloved to him. It was just an overlay to the real Jani; he was more than aware he'd barely scratched the surface of the person inside, and only because Jani had allowed it.

Leaning in further, he made sure their bodies met in the middle utilising as many surfaces as possible. As before, their legs twined together naturally. For some while, they only looked at each other, held each other. Then Sav followed his urges and kissed Jani, delicate and sweet, flicking his tongue across his lower lip but otherwise keeping it gentle.

It dawned on him that he'd neglected them the night before, so Sav slid his hand up Jani's arm and across his chest, till he reached the nipple. He didn't quite touch, only the ring of bumps around it, which he circled with a fingertip. His fret hand, he just realised. A real moan rolled from him now.

* * *

Melting into Sav's arms, Jani sighed happily. For a moment, they looked at each other, drank in their features, then Sav pulled him closer. Their chests touched and Jani could feel Sav's heart beat. They kissed, slow and gentle, enjoying each others' warmth. Warmth turned into heat when Sav's fingers traced Jani's chest and found his nipple. Jani let out another sigh and his erection that hadn't flagged, made itself known again.

Still a little nervous over the prospect of being licked in such an intimate place, Jani told himself that Sav wouldn't have offered it if he didn't want to, which helped with his nerves. He couldn't deny that the concept of sharing this with Sav made not only his heart surge but it was also insanely hot. Still, as he'd said, they'd take it slow for the moment – Sav's teasing fingers and their kiss made taking it slow extremely enjoyable.

At the same time, Jani knew it wouldn't be long before his impatience took over. Smiling at Sav, he kissed his lover deeper than before with his tongue now demanding entrance rather than just tracing Sav's lips.

* * *

As always when Jani got a little more aggressive with him, liquid heat poured into Sav's blood. He was almost fully hard against Jani now, the feeling of them skin to skin with their erections trapped between them such a rush. Opening his mouth a bit to allow Jani access, Sav pinched Jani's nipple, flicked it, then went for the other one which he pulled at a few times, not too hard yet. The slick, hot tongue exploring his palate reminded him of what he wanted to do next, after he'd taken the time to get there. Sav licked like he would a little later, across Jani's lips, past his teeth, in deeper and then more shallow.

Sliding his hand down Jani's chest and abdomen, Sav grasped both of them together for a few strokes. He couldn't help rolling his hips into it a couple of times, pushing. What Jani had told him about being opened, widened on the first thrust in, how it was weird and yet he craved it, bounced around and around his mind. If they could get it up again after this, he wanted his part in that, too. For now, Sav let go of the two of them, encouraged Jani to throw his leg over him and wiggled down so he could give more love to the two tight little buds on his pecs. Now it was his lips, tongue, and teeth on one, fingers on the other. The bruises were fading a little. Were. Sav sucked hard, worrying the tip with his tongue.

* * *

Sav opened his mouth and Jani couldn't help but start duelling with Sav's tongue, first they licked at each other, then Jani captured it and began to suck on it, soon moaning because Sav not only continued worrying Jani's nipple but he also wrapped a firm hand around their erections and gave them a few strokes.

About to protest when Sav broke the kiss and let go of their dicks, Jani found himself hissing and moaning more as Sav shifted his attention – and his mouth – on Jani's chest. It didn't take long and under the skilled fingers and tongue Jani grew desperate for more.

"That," he gasped when he could catch his breath for a second, "I think, slow and nice... the time for that is coming to an end. I need more, Sav. Please give me more!"

* * *

Pulling back with a slurp, Sav gritted out, "You got it... give you more of what we both want..." It struck him, how many of his band's songs written in the last two decades came down to want, need, lust, both thematically and in their lyrics. He and Jani embodied it, pushing each other higher and higher. "Roll on your front," he urged. "So I can get behind you." Freeing his legs from the tangle, Sav used his hands to nudge Jani face-down, although he was not forceful about it. "That's it..."

* * *

As aroused as he was, when Sav announced that Jani should roll on his front so Sav could get behind him, Jani was suddenly all nervous again. He trusted Sav with his life, with everything, yet what Sav was about to do was infinitely more intimate even than the sex they had. That Sav... _loved_ him so much that he'd do this... Jani's awe went to his core and he swallowed. Sav was moving so they weren't facing each other in this moment, for which Jani was glad as he wasn't sure if eye contact wouldn't overwhelm him right now.

Then Sav's hands were on him, warm and confident, and suddenly, everything fell into place. Jani relaxed and rolled on his front, guided by the hands of the man he loved. "That's it," he echoed and hesitated. "Sav... I... I've had difficulties saying this before but I want to say it now. I... I love you."

* * *

Without hesitating, for sure without any protest, Jani laid on his front. Sav rose up on his knees and looked down at him, one hand still on Jani's shoulder so they wouldn't lose the connection. Letting the hand trail down Jani's back, Sav moved around, guiding him to move his legs apart. He positioned himself between, behind, was about to say something, anything, lest the moment go by unmarked, when Jani spoke for them both.

The previous thoughts of this being a lust-heavy sexual thing didn't entirely fly out the window, maybe into the background when Jani picked that moment to tell Sav of his own accord that he loved him. It shouldn't mean so much for a bloke his age, Sav thought, but it did. His heart beat so hard, so fast, he would have lost his breath if not for the need to respond. Getting his knees between Jani's thighs for the moment, Sav bent forward more and kissed Jani's spine between his shoulder blades. "I love you, too. That means everything to me. Rakastan sinua, Jani."

He had interspersed his words with more kisses and little flicks of his tongue. Now, he did the same going lower and lower, mapping each vertebra. Jani's muscles shivered a little, as if they couldn't decide whether to tense or go limp. It would be so easy to line up and slide it in. No, he told his aching junk, he had other sliding in to do.

Then he was there, skittering down over the sacrum after he ran out of vertebrae, parting Jani's cheeks and letting his tongue glide down and down till it touched the puckered skin at his entrance.

* * *

Sav got it. For some reason he couldn't figure out it had been hard for Jani to say these words in English. Sav replying in Finnish brought tears to Jani's eyes – which, thankfully, Sav wouldn't see because they weren't looking at each other. Then the thought occurred to him that maybe he wasn't afraid of Sav witnessing his emotional display – which was scary. Or maybe it wasn't? Jani had made the conscious decision to open himself up for Sav, to let Sav see who he really was, flaws and all. It was also the only reason why he found himself able to allow Sav what he was going to do.

Thankfully, Sav must sense that although he was calm on the outside – at least he thought so – Jani _was_ the blushing virgin he'd proclaimed to be a minute ago – mostly to establish that he wasn't. Well, it didn't matter. What mattered was that Sav knew what Jani needed, and for the moment that was showering his back with loving kisses and licks that moved slowly downward and gave Jani time to adjust to what would happen... Or not, if Jani found he couldn't do it, and he knew that Sav would be okay with that, too,

Yet, the lower Sav's tongue reached down Jani's back, the more Jani wanted it, _that._ So what if he still found it difficult to put into words, there was no doubt that not only his body craved to be touched, licked, in this most intimate of places. When Sav carefully spread his cheeks Jani thought he was going to have a heart attack, he'd die before Sav's tongue got to touch him. But he didn't die, and then...

 _"Oh god! Sav! Sav! Sav! Oh god!"_ Jani wailed. Sav's touch was possibly the most intense sensation Jani had experienced in his entire life, and now he was crying openly. "God, Sav, I love you so fucking much!"

* * *

The touch of his tongue across the opening brought another shriek, and more declarations of love. Sav hummed an "mm-hm" but otherwise continued. He used every trick he'd ever learned or imagined. At first, he simply licked in short, quick swipes around the border of the muscle, then criss-cross across the middle, alternating.

Should he stop? Jani was literally crying. No, he decided, the strong feelings Jani was experiencing had taken over in that manner, that was all. "'s alright... I got you," Sav murmured. Jani could better release his emotions if he wasn't made to display and explain them.

When he'd started, allowing it or not, Jani's hole had been tightly closed, tense, but as Sav worked and kneaded at his cheeks with both hands, the sphincter became more pliable. Sucking at it, Sav wiggled in the tip of his tongue. In and out, then tracing the outside ring, and in again, a lot like he'd done not so long ago with his fingers before he'd taken Jani and made him his.

It had been a long, long time since he'd done this, he had kind of forgotten the taste, though it was likely as unique to each person as it was with women. Pepper, he decided, and could live with that. And... bitter. And, fuck it, who cared, all he wanted was to make sure Jani knew this was love. Extending his tongue, he licked in as far as he could go. Now with his face more or less buried and Jani arching back into it, Sav was able to move one hand to cup his sac, very gently holding the heavy, dense stones.

The sobbing might have abated somewhat but not entirely. It was fine. Terrible pun, but Jani had been so bound up, trying to either not feel what he felt or not to say it; that was all past now. Tongue-fucking his lover's otherwise untouched place, Sav felt a certain release, too, as if everything he had stopped himself from saying because it was too much, too soon, too crazy because of who they were in whatever they called their respective real lives came out like this, on his tongue. Yes, it was as dirty as it gets. Some people would call it filthy. Sav delved deeper and sucked on Jani's rim.

* * *

"Mmmh... Nnnh... Nghh..." Within seconds after the first lick, Jani was reduced to a moaning, quivering mess. This was... different... from anything he'd ever had done to him before. Tears were streaming down his face, but he wasn't ashamed for crying; these tears expressed his love for Sav. The intensity of his emotions was met with equally intense pleasure that spread out from his... back entrance as Sav made... love to it.

What had begun with gentle licks eventually evolved to Sav's tongue probing, pushing gently in. When Jani realised that Sav was actually going to tongue-fuck him, he thought his heart would give out. It was... too much, and yet... Jani was coming apart, and there was nothing he wanted more than being under Sav's incredible tongue.

"Oh god, Sav, Sav, Sav," Jani chanted. Hadn't Sav asked him to beg the night before? Suddenly, that was no longer an issue for him. "Please don't stop," Jani begged, "please don't stop, god, Sav, need you so much... please, please..."

* * *

Begging... Jani was pleading now, for real, his voice thready but urgently needy, not because Sav prompted him, begging for more or just to continue. That, Sav could do. "Not gonna stop..." He licked ferociously around the inside edge, then plunged his tongue in again, and again. It was an extension of himself, his love, and he fucked Jani with it like he would, with his entire body and his dick. As deep as he could go, drawing out slick and fast. The two glands in his hand were pulling tighter, and Jani's hole quivered as he licked it. He'd never get enough of this!

Sav eased his hand further forward and palmed Jani's dick. Hard, so hard, throbbing! Curling his fingers around the double-barrelled shaft, he eased the looser foreskin forward and back. "Go on, if you need to... fuck my hand." Resolved to make it so good, he returned to going in and out, licking surfaces inside, outside, wiggling his tongue for all he was worth.

* * *

Still crying, Jani continued to writhe and moan under Sav's tongue. He'd never felt anything like this before and a part of him still thought that it had to be a dream or a hallucination; his mind refused that such intense pleasure could be real. His body, on the other hand, simply decided to ignore his brain and go along with the bliss.

Jani was so wrapped up in ecstasy that he only noticed that Sav had been playing with his balls when Sav's hand moved away from them and hefted his dick. Skilled fingers slid his foreskin up and down over the swollen-to-bursting crown. Wounded noises escaped from deep within Jani's throat as Sav began to firmly massage his shaft and the licking and fucking of his oh-so-sensitive opening continued.

"N-n-need... s-so m-much..." Jani pressed out, utterly gutted, as he followed Sav's invitation and thrust into the welcoming hand. "G-god, S-sav, p-p-please...!"

* * *

Watching Jani as he complied or gave in, whichever it was, to his instinctive needs, was going to be the death of him, Sav thought. Fuck his hand, sure, that was sexy as hell but the dick in his hand was far from disembodied; Jani's hips, arse, back, his entire lower body rolled and thrust. Sav moaned over the sight, his inner teenaged slut coming out again, just as he was having to throttle his inner teenaged boy rather than lose it and come all over the sheet untouched at this rate. Sex was a universal language; like so much about him, Sav would have said Jani 'spoke' it with an accent. True, he hadn't been with many men but holy Jesus god, the sight and feel of that specific twist-thrust-rebound and the push of Jani's hot, steel-hard erection through his fist was going to kill him.

Crouched on his knees behind Jani, he moved with the undeniable rhythm. Neither hand was free to stroke himself and there was no possibility for friction, but he wasn't moving till Jani was completely satisfied. The begging continued, just like the licking and fucking. Sav's tongue was going to be sore, but he didn't care. For a second, he put it to other use: "Tell me, Jani... tell me what you need. Anything... anything..."

* * *

Jani laughed between gasps. "A-all I n-n-need is y-y-you to n-not stop! So good!" He hadn't known, nor expected, for perfection to exist. Right now, Sav was proving to him not only that it did indeed exist but also that he knew how to give it. The hand around Jani's dick was perfect, and the tongue... "Oh god, Sav...!"

* * *

"Mmmmm...." Sav moaned again, long and low. A day or two ago, he'd tried but not quite succeeded in bringing Jani off by playing with his nipples. No way did he want this to go down the same road. Repositioning his hand on Jani's arse cheek, he touched the outer border of Jani's semi-open, dripping-wet hole. "Want... more...?" he asked between licks, and tapped down with the pad of his index finger a couple of times. He filled Jani with as much of his tongue as he could then, flailing against the walls.

* * *

"N-not sure I c-could survive m-more," Jani wailed. Sav must be enjoying listening to him being barely able to speak. Then Sav dove in again with his tongue and Jani let out a – most undignified – squeal as his dick surged in Sav's hand. "S-so close..."

* * *

Okay. Sav would have grinned if not otherwise occupied, tonguing in as far in as he could reach, retreat, repeat. No more additional... modalities then, judging by the loud whine of deprived yet ecstatic distress. Jani was closer than Sav had thought. He should have guessed by the intense throbbing and the slick dripping through his fingers. "Jani...!" he wheezed, short of breath. In the interim, he blew across the opening, "Can you... come on my tongue?" Sav's hips jerked as he pulled on Jani's butt cheek, allowing him in another fraction of an inch.

* * *

"I... oh god, oh god," Jani wheezed, "I can't... I can't _not_ come on your tongue..." The delicious friction on his dick was almost an afterthought to the intense pleasure spreading from having his entrance 'loved', as Sav would put it. Together, the touches brought Jani past the point of no return: he knew he was going to come, nothing could stop it, his climax was so close that he could taste it. Yet time slowed almost to a standstill, making it even better as he could savour every fraction of a second of the most exquisite pleasure he'd ever experienced. Already his hole began to clench, his balls drew up and his dick was pulsing. "I... I... I... gonna... gonna..."

The floodgates opened.

"Saaaaaaavv!!!"

* * *

"Yes... yes..." Mostly it sounded like hissing, but that was the best Sav could do because he wouldn't, couldn't let up now. Jani was losing his mind, that being the goal. This time when Jani announced he was "gonna" Sav believed him and readied himself. The spasms started and squeezed his tongue, which might have made him laugh if he wasn't caught up in prodding and licking his man into a higher degree of dazed madness. It was shared, though. They both gave and took, flew so high.

Jani wailed his name, strong twitches pulsed inside Sav's fist and bursts of sticky cream flew from between Jani's legs. "Go on, Jani, gimme every drop, ride it out!" Sliding his tongue in deep again, Sav stroked Jani's spurting cock to the pace he set as he gave himself over and came without restraint, fucking Sav's hand. Watching and... experiencing the motion in as intimate a manner as he could have without actually being on the receiving end of that, Sav shed his own tears of involuntary empathy, and of his own selfish want. The sobbing continued; it, like Jani's repetition of his name, seemed to accentuate, focus and strengthen his orgasm. It went on and on, till at the end, Sav was sucking on his rim, fluttering his exhausted tongue against the clenching band.

When it slowed and tension eased, Jani remained, head down, shaking. So was Sav, if for another reason. Had he ever been so awed by another person's release in his life? He crawled up over Jani, toppled both of them to the side, out of the puddle, and held him. "That was... you're so fucking incredible, love you so much," he whispered.

* * *

Jani was coming and coming as Sav kept stroking, fucking, licking, sucking. His body was spasming with the intense climax, then aftershocks set in and Sav eased up on his ministrations, letting him come down slowly and lovingly until Jani's body had nothing more to give. All he could do was lie there and not move. Sav had to roll him on his side. When Jani tried to speak words wouldn't come, but Sav pulled him in, held him close and told him how much he loved him.

Seemingly unable to stop trembling, Jani clung to Sav when a hint of his strength returned eventually. "You too," he whispered. "Love you too." He wanted to say more, how incredible he felt, but instead he just pushed his face against Sav's chest. Sav would understand that he was too wiped out for anything else.

* * *

They lay there for some time, as the room grew lighter and the sun rose. Jani had his face pressed to Sav's chest, which he couldn't blame him for – he'd volunteered the act but Jani hadn't done that before with anyone. As he'd said, Sav expected nothing, including that his lover would go anywhere near his face right now. The hot breath on his torso and their closeness guaranteed Sav's arousal did not abate but he kept himself from squirming. Instead, he stroked Jani's hair back from his high forehead and straightened the long strands with his fingers.

Maybe Jani would fall asleep again, it was still very early morning. Or would he want Sav's seed spilled on him now? It was ready, simmering, wanting to escape. Sav forced his hand and mind into stillness and willed his heart rate to slow down. He concentrated on the different textures of Jani's skin, his post-orgasmic scent, how it felt to have him lying in his arms, heavy and breathing. Yes, so much romantic nonsense, Sav knew that. Well, he didn't have to say it out loud right now, there'd be a time and a place. As soon as they moved, the spell could break and they would be two men again, such an unlikely pairing.

If Jani was waiting for him to wash, he shouldn't dally all morning. Finally, Sav moved away just a little and murmured, "I'll go clean up..."

* * *

Once again, he was feeling boneless. If not for Sav's arm around him, holding him, Jani was sure he'd melt into the mattress. It wasn't the first time that Sav had taken care of him so thoroughly that Jani thought it was impossible to top, yet once again Sav had surprised him. And it was so much more than mere physical satisfaction: the deeper their relationship grew, the closer their bodies learned to feel, to sense each other. If a week ago anyone would have suggested that Jani would let someone lick his arsehole, he'd have declared them closed-ward cases. And now...

Sav announced that he'd go clean up, but Jani didn't want to let go of the man he loved. "Nuh-uh," he managed. He moved his head so that he could see Sav's face and immediately broke into a radiant smile. "Don't go. I'll die if you get up now, at least that's what it'll feel like."

* * *

"Well, we can't have that," Sav replied when Jani asked him to stay put. "Need you alive..." Letting his body mold against Jani's again, he settled in. No, he didn't really want to leave the warmth either, and he'd hardly die from blueballs. Likely he was leaving tracings of slick on Jani's lower belly... he doubted his lover would mind. "You look happy," he added. Happy didn't begin to cover it. Jani looked like his face would split from the width of his smile, and Sav was more than a bit smug over the fact that he'd had something to do with that level of joy.

His alarm would go off in not too long. Till then, he could drift. Sav planned to hit the snooze button a few times now.

* * *

"I'm so happy I could..." Jani shook his head. "Forget it. There's no way I could express how happy I am. How happy you make me." He laughed. "But if there's anyone who gets it, it's you. You can feel it, right?"

He moved his head upward so he could kiss Sav. Finding himself startled by the taste, Jani's brain kicked in a second later. It was... weird, but since Sav hadn't found it disgusting, Jani had no problem continuing the kiss. However, he broke away a moment later to speak.

"I want to make you as happy as you just made me, but would it be okay if we left... me eating you out for another time? I want to do it, want to return the favour, but I think I want a little time to get used to the idea. Sav..." He hesitated. "I just don't want to risk screwing up, not today when there won't be time for us to talk in a long time to come if something goes wrong."

* * *

"I feel it. I get it." Sav nodded. He might explode into a rampaging herd of multi-hued rainbow unicorns if he was any happier in this moment. The warm glow inside radiated like a nuclear reaction, only not destructive, just powerful.

Jani shocked the hell out of him by kissing him on the lips. When they broke, Sav reaffirmed, "I doubt you could screw it up. But you don't have ever to do that, if you don't feel comfortable, either because of what it is, or for not knowing the technique. It was something I wanted to give to you." Sav had no doubt that Jani would remember it... fondly... and would recall in detail how Sav had proceeded. He was imaginative, and forthright, and could imitate it if he could get his mind around the idea of arse-to-mouth. It had freaked him out a bit the first time, too. "And if you ever do decide to try it, I won't stop you," he grinned.

They'd already agreed to skip breakfast. Sav could also get coffee on the plane, if not before in the airport. "I'm... sorry about this," he hesitated to bring it up, since Jani was so relaxed, although at the same time, he rolled his hips and a small needy sound escaped him. His earlier plan to ignore it wasn't working out so well. "You weren't the only one who found that horny as fuck. Do you... still want to wear me on you? You wouldn't even need to move..."

* * *

"I know," Jani nodded when Sav confirmed that he'd never ask him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with. "I want to do it. And if I find that I don't like it, I know that you'll accept that, but," he smiled, "so far, I've tried a few new things that not long ago I couldn't have imagined doing, and now I find them very enjoyable. I have a feeling that I'll learn to enjoy this, too." His smile widened.

"As for now, if one of us should apologise it'd be me for making you wait. You have the patience of a saint," Jani said, "and I can't thank you enough for giving me a moment to recover. I really needed that – okay, since it was you who brought me to this state you might have known that this might happen," he winked, "but now I can't wait for you to... Yes," Jani said. "I want to wear you... How... What if you kneel or crouch over me and spray my chest? I," he swallowed, mouth suddenly dry, "I'd love to watch you doing yourself that way," he confessed. "I can promise that it'd fuel my wanking fantasies for months, if not until the end of my virility – may it be far away in time."

* * *

"You have had something of an education lately." Considering all the... positions they'd tried, the different acts, that was certainly true. "Sometimes I feel like I should apologise for corrupting you, only I'm not sorry," Sav admitted. "And I know you're a consenting adult, so..."

But then Jani gave him the go-ahead to 'spray him' and that was it. That odd moment when he could feel his pupils dilating wide came and went and Sav moaned, "Fuck yeah... gonna anoint you in it..." Easing Jani onto his back again, he rose up on his knees and straddled Jani's waist. "Lay there and watch if you want, or touch if you want, I'm good with either." That should cover it – he gave Jani blanket permission to do whatever, or nothing at all.

It seemed like he'd been waiting for hours, although it had been an hour at most. Licking his palm, Sav started by curling his fingers tight, squeezing, then began to stroke. He caught Jani's eyes and deliberately shook off a drop of clear slick, which was replaced by another drop, and another.

"Won't be long," he gritted out. As he'd instructed Jani to, he was rocking, thrusting into his own fist, the other hand lower now, rolling his balls carefully as they were so close to heaving their load they stung, swollen and tender. His dick was purple, the head a smooth dome that disappeared and reappeared through the curled edges of his thumb and index finger. Tightening his thighs around Jani, he opened his mouth. "Gonna blow my load on you... gonna paint my love on you, want you to wear me so silky and sticky on your skin, till it gets all musky and ripe but you can't stand to wash me off... oh GAAAAWWD, Jani!!"

If he was someone more inhibited, Sav might have been embarrassed by the silliness he was spewing. He wasn't. The tension in his lower body reached the point where he could no longer hold back. Sav threw his head back and howled his release. Before it was over, he looked down again to see how his spunk pattered down in streaks and puddles onto Jani's body.

* * *

"Ah, I wouldn't say you've corrupted me," Jani laughed. "More like enlightened me. I don't regret anything you taught me and I hope I'm not done learning. Starting with watching how you like bringing yourself off."

Since he was explicitly allowed to touch, Jani put his hands on Sav's thighs: other places weren't easily accessible as Sav was stroking not only his dick but he was also fondling his balls. In order to reach Sav's chest, Jani would have had to sit up, but he remembered well that Sav liked having his thighs touched. More exactly his inner thighs, which Jani couldn't reach very well either, but considering how urgently, fast and hard, Sav was pumping his fist, Jani decided against asking for a change in position.

Instead, he caressed the top of Sav's very lightly-furred thighs and their insides as far as he could reach, felt them tremble increasingly the closer Sav came to reaching the peak. To his surprise – and delight – Sav began to speak just before he was ready to blow. Jani loved the clipped tone of his voice where he could hear clearly how much of an effort it cost him to form the words in his state of extreme arousal.

And then he was there. Fountains of white erupted from the purple crown and splattered all over Jani's chest and belly as Sav's head fell back and he howled as he kept coming and adding more fluid to the mess on Jani's body.

"That's it," Jani coaxed, "Give me all you've got and I'll wear it as long as I can." He'd need a shower after the show and he already regretted that, but even though his bandmates would – hopefully – not be able to smell Sav on him, they wouldn't allow him on the bus unless he'd cleaned up first. It was a rule mostly enforced by Tony, but it applied to every one of them and they all agreed that it was sensible.

"So beautiful when you're coming," Jani said. "I can't get enough of you, each and every aspect of you. That was so hot!" Sav looked shaky and Jani hurried to add, "Come, lay down with me. I want to feel you."

* * *

It registered late that Jani had been stroking the insides of Sav's thighs while he'd brought himself off. No wonder it had felt far better than just jerking off. Other than the stray thought and agreement to lay down again, Sav was too out of it to reply. He followed Jani's request and closed his eyes. After some minutes when his breathing had slowed, he looked over to see Jani watching him.

Just as Sav was about to speak, his alarm went off. He'd known it would happen but it still nearly jolted him out of his skin. "Shite!" he hissed, fumbling for the offending device. Finally he was able to grab it and hit Snooze. "It'll do that every 10 minutes unless I reset it. Sleep for another hour or stay awake?"

* * *

Jani thought for a moment. "I think I want to keep this as the memory of our last sex – until we meet again, of course. I'm tired, but I don't want to waste time sleeping. Would it be okay to set the alarm, say, two hours from now and we'll just lie here?"

* * *

"It's already after five... better go with something an hour and a half. You never know what security will be like. My flight's the last. It's a four-hour wait till the next and probably standby... don't think I could stand it." Sav fiddled with the too-small icons on his phone till he got it set. Sighing, he lay back and stared at the ceiling. "If I happen to fall asleep again, don't be insulted. I'll try not to."

* * *

"OK, you're probably right about six thirty." Jani shuddered. "Are you sure that's the last flight for such a long time? When I checked there were lots, time zones working in favour of Finns heading for a shopping weekend in London," he mused. "But you have a full schedule ahead, so you'd better not miss the flight..."

He sighed. "I should probably sleep a little more, too, but I don't think I can. I hope you don't mind if I watch you sleep if I can't fall asleep myself. I know it's kinda creepy, but I can't get enough of you." He smiled.

* * *

"If I'm asleep, I can hardly mind," Sav said wryly. "It's fine. The best way to keep me awake is to keep me talking. I hesitate to ply you with 20 questions again, especially this early." Sometimes his ability for small talk gave out; he found himself at a loss. They should probably keep this interim as light as possible... well, that was his perception. Maybe Jani would wished it otherwise.

* * *

"Of course you can talk to me if you like," Jani said. "At any time, not just to keep awake. But if you're tired, you should sleep. I don't want you to force yourself to keep awake for me, so sleep it is." He laughed. "Please don't ask me to sing you a lullaby, but I'll be happy to kiss you goodnight."

* * *

"Maybe I'll sing to you," Sav replied with a hint of a smile. "That would be sort of romantic, wouldn't it? I played guitar for one the songs on Hysteria... no one else could get the timing right. What you said earlier, about feeling it... kind of reminded me of it. The lyrics. _'Oh can you feel it, do you believe it... it's such a magical mysteria... when you get that feeling..."_ He hadn't intended to, but found he had sung the last line or two. "Sorry, I guess that was awfully cheesy. You better kiss me good night to shut me up."

* * *

"I want to sing with you," Jani said and nuzzled Sav's neck with his nose. "I don't think the people in the adjoining rooms would like that much, although..." he broke into laughter, "considering the type of sounds we've entertained them with already, they might not mind us _singing."_

Jani kissed Sav's neck. "I don't want to sleep but it's okay for you to sleep if you're tired. If not, how about ordering breakfast to our room? I know we said we can eat later, but..." he sighed. "To be honest, I'm a bit scared of the prospect of sitting here until we have to leave, with nothing to do other than thinking of how horribly I'm going to miss you, even though you're still here."

* * *

"There can't be guests in the next rooms or they'd have been pounding on the walls. Anyone would have thought a porno was being filmed in here," Sav laughed. "We were really... _fucking loud_. That's just us, huh? Noisy fuckers." He snorted. Jani made just as much racket as he did, if not more. And why not? For both of them, the sex was the best they'd ever had. Sex and more.

Another yawn overtook him. When it ended, Sav blinked, rolled to his side and slid his arm over Jani. "I'm going to try for a short nap. Room service sounds like a plan since we didn't have anything last night after the airplane food. I served you some version of English breakfast at home, so how about a traditional Finnish breakfast for me?"

* * *

Jani blushed beet-red when Sav confirmed that they were noisy. "Happy fuckers, too," he added with a soft smile. Then Sav yawned and announced he'd take a nap.

"I'll order us breakfast, then. Not sure if there's an explicit breakfast tradition, so I'll just go with what I grew up with, rye bread and something savoury on it. And lots of coffee, of course."

* * *

"Very happy fuckers! Don't be embarrassed," Sav hugged Jani a little tighter for a second, having noticed his blush. "Having heard what you're capable of, I will always enjoy your... vocal accompaniment." Volume, range, some of the hottest, dirtiest suggestions on the planet... he certainly kept Sav from getting bored.

What Jani proposed in terms of breakfast sounded uncomplicated, and easier on the digestion than a heavy, greasy English fry-up. Unless room service wasn't operating yet, he doubted the simple fare would take long to ready. "Mm-kay... coffee, definitely." Sav rearranged his pillow a bit and closed his eyes again. He told himself that he was only sleeping again because life was going to get busier from here on out till winter and he wouldn't do himself any favours by pushing it. Then he was out again.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

From the looks of him, Sav was asleep, so Jani spoke very quietly when he dialled the reception and ordered breakfast. It would be delivered in about fifteen minutes. Unlike Sav, room service would prefer if he opened the door dressed, so he quickly slipped into a shirt and sweat pants.

Since Sav appeared to be really deeply asleep, Jani took Rakas from her bag. If he played her without an amp, using fingers instead of a pick – a bit of a challenge but he could really do with some practice – he was confident that Sav wouldn't wake up. Or...

Jani smiled as he played a few notes, then began to sing softly. "Nuku, nuku nurmilintu..." Unsure what the bird's name would translate to in English, he thought going with the literal 'Sleep, sleep, grass bird' should work. In the lullaby, it referred to the child it was sung to, which, in Jani's case, was Sav... OK, he wasn't a child nor a bird, but grass... the famous English lawn... It made him giggle. He probably was too tired to think clearly and he'd never played such music before but he thought that Sav was smiling in his sleep now, so he continued singing and playing.

* * *

Sav sank deeper and deeper into sleep... his body melting into the ground, into the dirt and the roots of plants and trees. Someone played him a song, to sing him asleep and call him away from this plane.

He was dying. It had happened to Sav before in dreams, although up until now his death had always been entwined with Steve's. This wasn't disturbing, it was peaceful. No blood and gore, his body just ceased to maintain its life.

Then something... maybe the eerie melody faded away or he transitioned to a different phase of sleep. Sav turned over, heard himself snort as if he'd been about to start snoring. He sank downwards again, alive this time.

* * *

The lullaby ended and Jani launched into 'Last Drop Falls.' It wasn't on the list for tonight, but their set was made up mostly from faster songs and he wanted to keep Sav's slumber undisturbed, so he decided to stick to soft music for now. When Sav sighed and rooted around, Jani muted the strings but Sav settled again, so he continued playing until there was a knock on the door.

Sav's face was turned away from the door and his hair could very well be that of a female, so Jani wasn't worried that the person from room service would recognise that Jani had shared the bed with a man. He opened the door, tipped the deliverer, and set the tray on the small table in the room. Sav was still sleeping and now Jani had a problem as he didn't want to wake him. He'd have to sooner rather than later, though, so he might as well get it over with. He poured himself a cup of coffee and approached the bed, then held the cup close to Sav's nose, far enough so it was safe from unexpected moves but close enough for Sav to smell it.

* * *

When Sav surfaced again, it was to the bitter-rich scent of strong coffee. He was going to need it. Perhaps the nap hasn't been the best idea. He'd feel better if he moved. Yeah, that's right, if he sat up. Sav rolled on to his back again and stretched. So tired!

Opening his eyes and fisting the sand away, he looked over to see Jani holding the coffee. "'Morning, Jani... is that for me?" He smiled and really did sit up, raking his fingers through his hair.

* * *

As Jani had hoped, Sav opened his eyes when the scent of the coffee hit his nose. "It's for you, if you want it black, no sugar. Otherwise tell me how you want yours and I'll be happy to make it. We've got all the breakfast stuff here now." He nodded toward the large tray.

"Rye bread, butter, cheese, coffee, milk. You'll want to try the bread," Jani said. "I like most food abroad, but Finnish rye bread is something I always miss when I'm away from here."

* * *

"Yorkshire men are supposed to drink it black... so I'll have milk and sugar. Can't think of the last time I had bread and cheese, that's gonna hit the spot. Thanks for taking care of this, Jani," Sav replied. He checked his phone. Almost six already. He couldn't deny the sinking feeling in his belly, hungry though it was, but he refused to show it. Saliva flooded his mouth, and he swallowed it down. "So... breakfast in bed?"

* * *

"Right," Jani laughed. "One _black_ Yorkshire man coffee coming up." He took a sip from the mug in his hand and set it down on the nightstand. "And breakfast in bed it is if you move aside a bit so we have space for the tray."

Sav complied and Jani set the tray down. He poured coffee into the second cup and added sugar and milk, then held it out to Sav. "I'll be happy to put the butter and cheese on the bread for you. Um, I'm assuming that you don't want me to feed you though, right?" He winked.

* * *

Sav nodded his thanks as he accepted the cup that Jani had doctored. Moving his legs to sit cross-legged, he took a sip. "That's okay, I can feed my own face," he smirked. "You don't have to, uh, serve me unless you really want to... but educate me if there's some sort of tradition I should know about." There, that should cover it. While Sav didn't want to unknowingly insult Jani, he was certainly not helpless.

The scent of the bread told Sav that that this sort of rye was a little different than the rye bread in the UK. "This smells good..." He was reminded of the expression 'breaking bread' but waited for Jani's lead.

* * *

Jani buttered the bread and smiled when Sav commented that it smelled good. "It's home," he said quietly. "Whenever I came home from touring in the past, this is what I ate first. This year..." he frowned. "You already know I wasn't having a good time. I had so much booze and junk food on the road that I gained, I dunno, ten, twelve kilos, so 20, 25 pounds. When we returned I kept drinking but stopped eating altogether. Too hungover for breakfast in the morning and too wasted to make a meal later in the day."

He handed Sav a slice of bread with cheese. "That's going to change. I'm going to eat a lot of bread – or generally healthy stuff – in the future and think of this, our breakfast together, and look forward to seeing you again."

* * *

"Yeah, you mentioned it. Quite a number of pounds to gain and lose in a short time. Bread's all carbs but better than an all-liquid diet... as in booze." Of course, 'liquid diet' had another meaning too but Sav figured Jani got the drift. He took a bite of the bread and cheese Jani handed him, chewed and swallowed.

"It's good, I like it. Likely I won't get this again any time soon, but I know I'll think of you whenever I smell bacon and eggs, or pancakes. We both cooked breakfast for each other, and together." Sav reached over and squeezed Jani's arm for a second. "That's another thing we can call ours."

* * *

Jani closed his eyes when Sav squeezed his arm. When he opened them again, he focused on Sav's eyes. "These moments... these... little things... They're what's going to keep me alive when you're gone whenever we can't talk to each other – touring being what it is. My phone and Internet provider is going to make a fortune," he chuckled darkly.

"And there's Rakas, of course. I have a feeling that the day will come when I'll actually take her to bed... When I was little, I used to take my favourite toys to bed with me," Jani explained. "Never a guitar, but this... she's different as you know." He drank more coffee and took a bite of his bread.

"Did I tell you that I own a bass guitar? It's a Yamaha, but don't ask me the details," he blushed. "I won it in poker. It's a nice instrument, I guess, but I never bothered to look it up. I have a feeling it may see more action in the future so I can spam you with tabs." Jani grinned.

* * *

"Mine, too. Unlimited minutes and gigs never really is, especially not international. I wonder how they get away with that," Sav mused. "Well, once we know what your schedule will be like, we can hopefully find some off-prime hours, and I'll call you rather than the reverse. That should help some." Hearing Jani's voice through his phone or maybe, eventually, seeing him on a computer screen if they found a secure enough video chat programme would have to sustain him for months. It was better than nothing, he supposed, but not anywhere near the same as the real thing. No solid body, no presence, no warmth, not the kind he could feel on his skin.

Realizing his thoughts were turning gloomy again, Sav refocused on Jani's proposal of taking the guitar into his bed. "If it's a large enough bed and you're careful," he shrugged. "And I know you will be. Little Jani took his toys to bed, huh? Cute! I don't think my mum would have allowed it, although she was more indulgent with me than with my brothers," he smiled.

"You told me about playing dress-up with bin liners and playing bass, but not that you own one. Makes sense, though. Especially for writing. I'll take your tab spam whenever you can get to it but no pressure," Sav went on. "Can't say how much time I'll have to practice new – for me – songs. I'll try, though. Not smoking will mean an extra few minutes here and there, plus I'll need something to occupy my hands."

* * *

"Um, well," Jani blushed. "Little Jani would have made a hell of a racket if Mum hadn't let him take his toys. I wasn't exactly known for my calm temper... Okay, maybe that hasn't changed much..." He coughed.

"I haven't got much of a schedule lined up so far," he changed the topic. "We have a gig at the end of the month, our very own open air festival in our home town, but that's a single night. Then there's a vague plan for a rehearsal retreat prior to recording our new album, but that depends very much on how the songwriting goes. In short, your calls will be very welcome at any time."

* * *

Hm, Sav had been thinking more along the lines of Jani's civil service, but if Jani didn't want to bring that into the equation, neither would Sav. He nodded again, smiled when Jani said his much younger self would have thrown a hissy fit, and found he'd eaten his whole piece of bread and cheese already, not even thinking about it after the first couple of bites. Hopefully he hadn't been as rude as talking with food in his mouth.

"I hear you; songwriting can be a fickle, temperamental bitch sometimes. Then the muse will hit when there's no possibility of finding a quiet corner to work it out. It'll be better soon, being able to record with a laptop, or so I assume. That's on my agenda, too, get a good set-up and learn to use it."

Finishing his cup of coffee, Sav decided one more was in order. He poured himself some from the coffee pot on the tray. "Would you like more, too?" he offered, holding the spout more in Jani's direction.

* * *

Wondering for a moment if he should bring up that his own compositions weren't too welcomed by his band – by Tony, that was – Jani refrained from it. Now that he'd met Sav, who'd proclaimed his interest in playing music together... provided that they ever found the time... Maybe Sav would like Jani's songwriting or they could write something together. This, too, could be something to keep them from going crazy when they couldn't see each other.

He smiled. "Well, if you like, I could send you snippets I record on my computer in addition to the tabs I already promised you. We could write our own songs. And yes, definitely," Jani said in response to the question as to whether he wanted more coffee. "Finnish black, please," he winked. "Can I offer you more bread in return?"

* * *

"I _would_ like that, to hear what you're working on and to try writing together. Once I get a programme figured out, I'll see about returning the favour." Sav poured Jani more of the strong, black coffee when he pushed his cup in Sav's direction. "I'll take more bread and cheese, too, thanks. It could be a long day ahead. The time change is with me this time, at least."

* * *

"Thanks." Jani accepted the coffee cup from Sav's hand and offered him another slice of bread. "As for a programme, I use Logic. It runs on Mac and Windows and the basics are pretty easy to figure out, like recording stuff and playing files. I'd love to set it up for you, but, well. You should go with what your colleagues recommend as unlike me they'd be there to help you with potential troubleshooting, except..."

He broke into laughter. "I'd better not send you porn soundtracks until your system is running stable."

* * *

"Porn? What porn?" If Sav wanted that, the Internet was loaded with... Oh! He shook his head at himself, then joined Jani's laughter. Duh. "You mean your own personal porn... Hello! Too early in the morning. You've got the idea, though: no one gets to see or hear that but me. I'll let you know. I'm... eager, as you might imagine."

When they wound down, Sav started his second serving of bread and cheese. "If your mum or anyone you know has a good recipe for this bread, I'd like it some day. I've never tried to make my own bread, but it's sure tasty. My gran used to..." It was possible that his memory was foggy, but he did recall, still too young to go to school, not being very impressed with plain white sliced bread compared to homemade.

Checking how Jani was progressing with his portion, Sav felt like he was... waiting to pounce. It was morning, he was renewed, and damn if he wasn't as horny as fuck. If Jani was trying to give him a hint by bringing up porn... and then Sav steered off into baked goods. Typical. Well, one way to fix that: redirect. "That was wonderful... I think I'm done," Sav brushed some stray crumbs off the sheet over him and started to slide it down... slowly...

* * *

"Sorry, I'm afraid it'll be audio only unless..." Jani gulped at the way Sav pushed the sheet down. Suggestive was the word to describe the act, and Jani's nostrils flared when the scent – he must be imagining things! – of Sav's pheromones hit them. He set down his coffee cup and the half-eaten slice of bread. It reminded him of Sav's previous question and he stammered, "I can ask my grandma for a recipe..."

_Shut up, you idiot,_ he told himself. Sav's expression said more than clearly that a bread recipe was the last thing he was interested in right now.

"I... guess it's time for dessert," Jani managed. "Can I have a lick?" He slipped his tongue out and ran it over his lips.

* * *

Jani, it seemed, was having a similar issue as to his mind going in two separate directions. He definitely had no trouble interpreting Sav's reveal. Never one to be able to resist the sort of tongue gesture Jani directed at him, like he was preparing to taste something he'd been starving for, Sav leaned back a little as his dick filled and rose. "Yes you can. I insist. Wanna lick you, too," he rasped.

* * *

How was it possible to blush when all his blood rushed to his dick, Jani wondered. Also, was he already leaking? Just from Sav announcing that he wanted to lick him? "Yeah, I want that," he rasped. Mere minutes ago... okay, make that half an hour ago, Jani had thought he wanted the memory of Sav licking him – no, Sav _licking_ him! – as the last memory of them having sex before they were forced apart. It certainly didn't take him long to change his mind.

"Your mouth and tongue and your... finger... in me..." Jani had to swallow as he was drooling from the prospect. "God Sav..." He picked up the breakfast tray with shaking hands and set it on the floor next to the bed. "Want you so much!"

* * *

"I know... I mean, me too!" Jani's hands were visibly shaking and Sav felt the same. He uncrossed his legs and slid down on the bed, then reached for the lube on the nightstand. "So, uh... take turns or 69?" he asked with a smirk. The last time they'd tried it, Jani had got himself worked up fast. "I'm up for either variation." Obviously. They couldn't take all day, hell, not even half an hour, but more than two minutes.

* * *

"Um, taking turns may be the better approach," Jani felt his cheeks glow even more. "I can't seem to concentrate on you when I've got your mouth on me... Maybe I should try and practice at home, like sucking a lollipop while doing myself," he laughed. "But for now... It's probably best if you go first... I needn't tell you that I tend to, well, be useless for a while after you make me come, so..."

He bit his lip, not wanting to say it out loud that they had so little time left!

* * *

Practice on a lollipop? That sounded like porn all by itself. Sav knew he was leering, majorly. He didn't comment on that plan or they'd spend too much time bantering. "Okay, that's understandable, taking turns..." He spread his thighs and made more room. "I'mma stop you before it's over though, because I wanna get my mouth on you for a bit before my lips go all slack from what I know you can do with yours..." Anticipating the wet, hot suction and the toe-curling pleasure of Jani tickling and sliding his foreskin, Sav wrapped a fist around the base of his erection and 'offered' it to Jani.

* * *

Jani beamed at his lover as he crawled up on the bed and laid down between Sav's spread thighs. Not long ago – had it really only been a few days? – he hadn't known how to position his body while sucking Sav's dick. He was glad that he'd mastered that part, yet he also hoped that he'd never get used to this, that the fascination, the anticipation of swallowing Sav down to the root, of hearing his pleasure, would never fade.

"I can't wait to have your mouth on me," Jani said, "and thankfully, I won't have to wait to have my mouth on you," he grinned. "Like, now." He bent down and did what he'd just been thinking of: Instead of beginning with a few tentative licks, Jani wrapped his lips around the purple erection and sucked it down as deep into his throat as he could manage.

* * *

There was no lead-in, and that was fine. As if he weren't already stiff enough to drill fence post holes, Sav only swelled and hardened further as Jani took over. He was not hesitant, not cautious other than not catch his teeth or that sort of thing. That hot-wet-tight surrounded him and slid almost all the way down, and when Jani sucked hard as he pulled back, Sav felt like most of the blood in his body was now bound up between his legs. Again and again Jani advanced and retreated, sometimes coming up for a breath, and then he'd go back down farther, his throat contracting around the head.

No wonder old geezers were always kicking the bucket during sex. Sav was panting and hissing and wheezing, and he wasn't even the one with a dick in his mouth. Just as good as the physical sensations were Jani's eyes on him, observant and full of the desire he claimed, shades of blue reflecting as he bobbed his head. "Oh gawd... Jani, god, fucking yeah, oh fuck yeah..."

Though he didn't want to choke his lover, Sav had to move a little. He tightened his abs and his arse, then relaxed, similar to what Jani did when he squeezed around Sav's dick. "Doing so good, suck me so good..." Already his balls wanted to draw up and spew. Too soon! Sav threaded his fingers through Jani's hair. "Better ease off or..."

* * *

"Or?" Jani pulled back and let go of Sav's dick, then cocked his head and smirked as he looked at Sav. "I want to make you come," he said, "but you suggested you want me to stop and, um, turn the tables for a while. Just make sure I don't get to finish yet," he reminded Sav.

"I guess I should probably get out of these," he pulled his tee shirt over his head and pushed his sweat pants down. "That's better," Jani grinned. "Now, how do you want me?"

* * *

Sav nodded emphatically when Jani guessed he didn't want to come yet. Watching the guitarist remove his clothes didn't help him communicate any more coherently. He knew Jani wasn't totally happy with his own body but Sav was. There was much to be said about how a person moved, and their sounds. There was dried semen on Jani and the musk of it was making Sav drool.

"If you still wanna be blown and fingered, roll on your back," he said, flicking his eyes at the space beside him. "But first... let me get a taste of meself on your tongue so I can feast on both of us." Jani had sucked pre-come out of him, and a look at Jani's unclothed groin told him he was leaking a bit. It might be weird, but Sav was craving their combined fluids.

* * *

"Oh god, do I still wanna be blown and fingered," Jani groaned, "Let me put it this way, the thought of it alone... but I needn't tell you what that does to me," he pointed at his wet dick.

Sitting up on his haunches, Jani leaned forward until he laid on top of Sav. "I'll try my best to stop myself from rutting against you while we kiss, but I'm not making promises as to succeeding. Man, you feel so good," he sighed happily and aimed for Sav's lips.

* * *

"You're wet for it... for me," Sav mused. "It's so fucking sexy." Jani leaned over him, pushed him all the way down and laid on top of him, which Sav didn't mind in the least. He liked the solid weight pressing on him, leaking on him, and if Jani wanted to rut, he wouldn't object. "You'll have to choose what you want most when the time comes, then..."

Right then, Jani wanted his mouth to kiss, which Sav responded to with his own licks and kisses. Holding Jani firmly, he let his hands wander where ever they wanted, feeling every bit of surface area his fingers could re-memorise. Before, when Jani had been sucking him, Sav had already had his legs spread wide. Now Sav bent his knees, keeping his feet on the mattress, and brought them up to bracket Jani's hips, rocking up against his groin. Being that Jani had never taken the hints Sav had thrown him, he didn't wrap his legs all the way around his waist, didn't want to freak him out. This was good for now, writhing against each other slicked by their natural lubrication.

* * *

"I'm... gonna be... much, _much_ wetter soon," Jani panted as he pressed his dick against Sav's and joined Sav's rocking. "Time isn't the only thing that's going to come. I think I want this, together with you." He moaned, then resumed the kiss while rubbing against Sav's belly. "So good!"

* * *

Moving his lips off Jani's long enough to say, "Oh yes...? Go for it, hump meh till you explode...!" Sav slid his hands down further to palm both of Jani's buttcheeks, cupped them, squeezed, kneaded. That was _his_ arse, and he was going to leave fingerprints on it. He stared up into Jani's dilated, shadowed eyes, trying to convey the combination of love and lust that rode through his veins like wildfire. The slide of Jani's tongue in his mouth was every bit as erotic as the slide of two full-fledged dicks between them.

Yeah, Jani was almost there, Sav could tell. Those tight balls were gonna spew any second now. Giving in to his need to express himself, Sav let himself free to moan uninhibitedly, like these tortured sounds were the last he'd ever have the opportunity to voice.

* * *

It was a good thing that he was leaking so much fluid, although Jani couldn't remember ever being so wet before he'd met Sav. Right now, however, humping each other would have been much less enjoyable if not for their combined slick.

Sav encouraged him with words, moans, and by grabbing his arse, pulling him down and increasing the friction. It was only a few minutes since they'd started this and already Jani's balls were hardening, tightening up in preparation to spew their load. He moaned as he pressed his aching groin against Sav's, trying to move closer still although it wasn't possible.

"Sav, Sav!" Jani couldn't get enough of his lover's name, it was like a mantra – his sex mantra. "I... won't be able... to hold off much longer... Please... With me..."

* * *

Well, Sav wasn't going to get to blow Jani. They'd got carried away, and why not considering the insane level of attraction and need. Maybe also too late for him to slake his... mating urges. He had to try. "With you, but... god Jani please, let me be in you," Sav groaned. "Once more before..." They knew what. "I need you, all of you."

* * *

Despite his seriously blood-deprived brain, Jani's surprise over Sav's suggested change in course lasted only a second. "Yes, yes, please take me!" he nodded enthusiastically. _One last time..._ "I need you, too," he whispered hoarsely. "As you said, all of you."

* * *

Sav might have let his body sag in relief if not already on his back. He closed his eyes and gathered himself, opened them and rolled them over. Leaning down, he continued their heated kissing, snagging a condom off the side table; he'd already had lube at hand. Not wanting to break contact, he got his knees under him to glove up. After, though, he had to turn his head long enough to tear open the sachet of slick. Most of that, he used to coat himself.

"You said you like being stretched on my dick..." Sav had to admit, the base of it was already thickening like it tended to just before he came. This brief discussion would take the edge off, but not for long. The rest of the lube, he used on his finger, and that to smear on, but not in, Jani. He had a little more, if needed. "Want it like that? Speak now..."

* * *

Sav moved quickly; there was no doubt that he needed this as bad as Jani did. Jani's breathing hitched when Sav reminded him that he liked being stretched open by Sav's dick and he nodded vigorously. He bit his lip as he waited for Sav to slick him up, but all he got was some lube on the outside.

Meeting Sav's eyes, Jani said, "Yes, I want it like that. I trust that you're... wet enough so I won't get hurt. Go for it. I'm ready. Now do me."

* * *

"Would never hurt you, stop me if you need to..." Sav had planned to 'do it now' but he would not risk it. Two extra seconds and one finger would ease his mind, even if Jani whined about it. Advancing the slippery touch inside, he satisfied himself that any pain would be the good kind. Then, he went back to plan A, lining himself up and giving Jani his eyes, so they could watch further just how they affected each other.

A quick, no-holds-barred thrust later, he was in. With the minimum of prep like that, he could feel how he pushed Jani open, filled the passage and stretched the walls around him. "Yes Jani fuck yesssss!" Jani snarled, to which Sav curved his back so he could suck on one of his ultra-sensitive little peaked nipples. Like before, with Jani on top of him rocking against him, Sav fucked to satisfy them both. For him, burying himself to the hilt again and again; for Jani, scratching his itch by the rhythmic stimulation of his pleasure gland.

"Remember the first time?" Sav looked up, extended his tongue and licked again. "You were so nervous... it took a while... now look at you... love how you give more every time..."

* * *

If anyone else had reminded Jani of having been nervous the first time he'd have bristled and denied it, but this was Sav and Sav was special. Sav was allowed to... well, fuck him. Jani would trust Sav with his life and he did trust him with his arse, obviously. Right now, he'd just found out once again that Sav fully deserved the trust as he'd made sure to add a thin coat of lubricant so that Jani wouldn't be hurt when he... thrust in, buried himself to the hilt and all Jani could do was gasp and moan as he froze in the moment of intrusion, then relaxed and welcomed Sav into his body. It was where he belonged, after all.

So yes, of course he'd been nervous. And yet the 'while' Sav referred to was only a week ago. Jani had been hooked from the first time Sav had touched his prostate, and this was what he wanted, needed, for the rest of his life: this man inside him.

"Wanna give you everything," Jani moaned as he clung to Sav, urging him to push deeper and faster.

* * *

"Everything," echoed Sav. "You and me... let me bring you to the edge, till we give it, take it, everything..." In this moment, he already had everything he could ever want. He kept going, faster and deeper, bordering on rough. Probably Jani would be sore, but then he'd asked for it. Sav might be too, from effort. He hitched his knees wider again and slammed in.

They were joined, they were one. Sav knew he was close, almost there. Not just him – Jani was clinging to him tightly and damned if Sav didn't get off on the show of neediness and trust. He rolled his hips, arched back, letting instinct push them to the brink of orgasm if not sanity. "Jani, gonna... in you... come on me now.... Nnnngh!!"

Once more in and out, that was all he had left. Slamming deep inside, Sav poured himself out in seed and howled his release as all his muscles locked into the delicious spasms. "Love you, Jani..." His balls contracted painfully and shot another load, and another. "So good, baby, so good..."

* * *

"Yes, yes, with you," Jani gasped-moaned. He wrapped his legs around Sav's hips, thus raising his butt, inviting Sav deeper, and pushing back with as much force as he could. So what if he hurt later? He'd asked to be sore, hadn't he? Not that it mattered right now, not when all that counted was that he met Sav's thrusts, crying out every time Sav nudged his prostate. And then...

Sav lost himself, let himself go completely as he slammed into Jani and howled his climax. Already primed to go off with him, Jani's eyes bulged when the stimulation of his secret pleasure spot slung him over the edge. He screeched Sav's name as his orgasm crashed over him, felt his balls turning inside out, then his body shook in blissful convulsions while he emptied himself between them and his mind resonated a single thought: Sav, Sav, Sav...

* * *

Shaking from the aftershocks, Sav was comforted by the security of Jani's legs and arms wrapped around him. Jani screeched his name and the sticky-wet warmth of his spunk spread between them. For today, anyway, Sav decided he wasn't washing it off, either. Holding Jani through his release, Sav was hard pressed to start in about how much he'd miss this. He kept that in, telling himself to focus on the good.

"Well... I suppose..." he sighed after a little while. What could he even say? Loosening his hold, he leaned in to kiss Jani and nuzzle the side of his neck. "I'm gonna wear you today, too. Stay high on your chemicals..."

* * *

Still breathless, Jani laughed softly. "We'll both leave a wake of pheromones behind us. People won't know what hit them when they breathe us in and feel the sudden urge to, um, copulate..."

He turned serious. "I don't want to shower again until you're back with me. Or until I'm back with you, either way, whichever comes first. I'll have to, after the show, or the others won't let me on the bus, but I'll remember your scent forever. As for now, stay in me as long as you can while I inhale you..." He kissed Sav's neck.

* * *

"Oh man, 'copulate', there's a word I haven't heard in forever," Sav laughed. "Sounds like when my school friends and I used to look up what we considered naughty words in the dictionary. Go ahead, inhale me, I'll do the same." He made good on that by nosing up into Jani's hair behind his ear, avoiding the ear itself. The pheromones there, he was sure, had something to do with 'why' he'd wanted Jani, back at the beginning. "I suppose I could really get creative – like that bitch on the side of the road – and sniff your balls."

* * *

"Ah, I was only trying to show you what an educated man I am," Jani grinned. "but we can go with 'fuck'. It'll save us two syllables, a long time considering how desperate we sometimes are." He laughed. Then Sav brought up his police incident again and Jani laughed harder. "Well, she really had good taste," he repeated his earlier words – at least he thought that was what he'd said when Sav had told him why he'd been late picking him up at Heathrow. Was it really only four days ago?

"Go ahead and sniff my balls if that's what you want," he offered. "Right now I'm happy with your neck but I could be easily convinced that I want a whiff of your balls-scent."

* * *

"I was just kidding... but some day in the future..." Sav chose instead to kiss his lover, a slower, lighter, but no less meaningful expression than those a few minutes before. Then the alarm went off. Sav had set it to maximum volume, a choice he now regretted. He lurched in surprise and – no surprise – his softened member slid free. "Sorry, sorry..."

Phone located and silenced, Sav breathed in a final lungful of Jani's scent... from his neck and hair. "I don't want to move," he complained, even while climbing off Jani and off the bed, careful not to step in the breakfast tray. It could take a few minutes for the mess on his belly and groin to dry. In the meantime, he tossed the condom and gathered up the clothes they'd dropped haphazardly, sorting them into whose was whose and setting those Jani had been wearing the previous day at the foot of the bed.

A sort of unreality set in, similar, he supposed, to a medical procedure or court appearance, that this wasn't happening... and yet it was. Minutes ticked away, and suddenly Sav's mouth was dry. He hadn't the slightest idea what to say, so he said nothing, just sat down on the edge of the mattress and began to pull his clothes on.

* * *

All silliness and playfulness ground to a shuddering halt when Sav's alarm went off, the ultimate signal of doom. Sav slipped out of him and apologised, then started to move after declaring that he didn't want to. Jani felt frozen and stayed on the bed, immobile, as if time would stop passing if he pretended to be still. Watching Sav dividing their clothes into heaps for each of them – not a simple task since almost everything they'd strewn all over the floor were actually Sav's clothes – he eventually decided that ignoring the clock didn't work.

As he reached for the coffee pot, he was suddenly tempted to cancel the gig, call in sick, whatever. But even if he got away with that, which was unlikely, Sav had to leave on tour, so even if he risked being kicked out of his band it would only win him a few more hours with Sav... No, he was in enough trouble already and he'd vowed to clean up his act. It was the only chance he had of a future together with Sav in the long term.

Two cups of coffee were left in the pot. Jani poured them and added milk and sugar to one, then held it out to Sav without words.

* * *

Jani wasn't speaking either, and maybe it was better that way. When offered, Sav accepted the coffee held out to him with a nod. He swallowed some, it had cooled even in the pot since their first cups. They'd have to leave soon, then there was the walk to the airport. He was going to have to get used to this – it would be part of their lives for a long time, barring unforeseen changes in plans.

Unable to avoid it, Sav set his empty cup back on the tray, stood, and finished dressing, making sure his shirt was tucked in to cover the smears Jani had left on him. His laptop was still out. There was more unfinished business. He broke the silence over that, ignoring that it might be slightly inappropriate to ask right now. "So, er... toys. You wanna pick something, or should I do so later? You know what, I don't even have your – physical – address."

* * *

They drank the coffee in silence; neither of them appearing to know what to say until Sav spoke up and asked about the toys as their quest for a vibrator for Jani had been... _interrupted_ the night before. Jani didn't regret what they'd done. If he regretted something it was that he hadn't met Sav years ago but he wasn't going to waste time now thinking about ifs.

"I... I'd love it if you'd pick something for me," he said and smiled. "I already know that I'm going to love it and I'm sure I'll find a way to let you, um, participate, maybe on the phone one day. As for my address, I live on Keskuspuistokatu 5, 94100 Kemi." He said the numbers in Finnish and laughed. "Here, let me write it down for you. And I'd like to have yours in return." It only occurred to him now that despite the time he'd spent at Sav's place he didn't have the address. "Although sending you things is pointless with you on tour."

There it was again, the feeling of impending doom. Sav returning to England was bad enough but soon they'd be on different continents.

* * *

"Don't be surprised if your toy turns into toys. Gotta make sure you're well satisfied," Sav returned with a smirk, "from every angle. I won't get too excessive, I promise."

Jani's home address in rapid-fire Finnish was incomprehensible to Sav. He'd never told Jani his address, although they'd come and gone from his house a few times and there were street signs and house numbers. "There's a small tablet or sticky notes or something and a pen on the table, we can exchange info. We have two more legs of this tour; I'll be home again after each. The postal service holds my mail whenever we're on the road, and I get it when I get back. But I can always send you stuff."

Since they wouldn't be online shopping right now, Sav returned his laptop to his backpack, along with the charge cord to his phone. His hat and shades were in there, which he took out. There were only a couple more items he'd left in the bathroom to gather, while he was in there, Sav quickly washed his hands and face and brushed his teeth. His hair was a mess. Returning, he wrote out his address and land line number on the hotel stationary as promised; Jani already had his mobile number and email. "Here you go. You know it's me. Do you have a hair tie I could borrow? Well, not borrow but have?"

* * *

Jani's dick twitched when Sav announced that he'd make sure Jani was well satisfied. "You made sure that I'm well satisfied right now," he commented, "otherwise I'd jump your bones again. Man, I can't wait to see what you have in mind for me, and I promise you'll get detailed reports," he leered.

While Sav went to the bathroom to collect his things, Jani wrote down his address. Sav reciprocated a moment later, then asked Jani for a hair tie, making him blush as he remembered the first time they'd met. "Here you are. Actually, I'll give you all of mine so you have something of me to wear... I felt so stupid that day, asking if I could borrow a smoke and you said you didn't want it back," he admitted. "If I hadn't been so desperate for nicotine, I'd have run. Now I'm so glad I didn't. And I'll try to continue cutting down on smoking and drinking. I'll still need something to get me on stage, but other than that, I now have a reason to want to stay healthy." Jani smiled shyly.

"And the reason is me wanting to be healthy. You had a major role in getting me to this point, but I want this for myself, not only for being with you. Sav..." He swallowed. "Even if... Our future is... What with everything our lives are like, it's hard to tell anything about a potential future together. You know that I really want this, us, to work out. But regardless how things will turn out eventually, I need you to know that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. This week, I'll never forget, and whatever happens from here-on, I'll treasure the memories of these past days for the rest of my life."

* * *

"Yeah... I was a bit of a bastard," Sav admitted. He noticed – keenly – how Jani turned red over the memory, even at this remove, and felt like a twat all over again. "It hadn't been a great day for me. That's no excuse. I'd never act like that with a fan, for example, unless they were rude first or super-grabby. I guess... I wanted to see what you were made of, or something. Knew you were a musician, up and coming not past your prime. Couldn't stop staring at you either, which, well, I know how that feels. Sorry about that..."

Jani went on to confirm that he was resolved to make healthier choices for himself. That was the thing – for himself. That needed to be his motivation, not his relationship. Although Sav had never said he'd never drink again and he didn't consider himself an alcoholic, it had been no trouble to stay completely sober while Jani was around. Not smoking would be good, health-wise, for both of them. To all that, he nodded his understanding. "You make sure to have a doctor check you over when you get home, alright? Whatever that was yesterday scared me."

Since he was not usually so effusive, Sav was a little surprised at Jani's outpouring of feeling. It was much the same for him. All of it. "I'm so glad you didn't run off, too. Or run me off, later. That you were able to let yourself be with me, though I'm not your usual fare in any manner of speaking. It's like you said, the last few days, weeks, I'll never forget it. Or you. Never thought, first day of a tour I was less than enthusiastic about, that within the next 24 hours I'd meet the person I'd fall in love with."

Taking Jani's hands, Sav told him, "I want to make this work, whatever that takes. Next break, I'll come to Finland if you can't get out of the country, whatever. This, us... It's worth the hassles, the sleeplessness, the cost, monetary or otherwise." He cleared his throat. "It sucks, but maybe we should go now, before you have to see a grown man cry or puke or something."

* * *

"That'd be two of us puking or crying," Jani sighed. He'd got dressed and cleaned his teeth and was almost ready to go, only the guitar still needed to be packed away. "Say goodbye to Rakas," he smiled sadly. "We're going to miss you but she'll help me with that. I'm the lucky one," he tried to joke, "as all you have is a strand of my hair."

He zipped up the gigbag and stood to face Sav. "I'm seeing my doctor on Monday. Not sure what I can tell them about yesterday as I don't really know what happened, but I'll ask them to run the you-know-what tests on top of the exams they do anyway, so if something's wrong with me they should find it." Jani changed topic. "So when's your next tour break?"

* * *

"I'm glad she's going with you. Anyway, I also have a pair of your jeans... and memories," Sav corrected Jani, albeit gently. "Not to worry. I'm sure your proposed methods of keeping me entertained on the road will more than even things up. The last day of the next leg is the 23rd of September. Final leg starts on the 11th of October, so a few days more than this break. Luckily the last two legs aren't as long as the first. Summer is always the big push."

* * *

"23rd of September," Jani repeated. "I have a feeling that's going to be the longest month and some in my life. Thank goodness for modern technology, at least I'll be able to follow you online." He blushed again. "I might even join a fanclub – if that's okay with you. Of course, I'll get my news first hand from you, but..." He looked down.

"When you had your accident I was so worried and I couldn't get hold of you on the phone. This former girlfriend of mine helped me find out that you were... alive. Not that I expect you to fall off the stage again any time soon, but if, say, you lose your phone, I'd at least not be cut off from information altogether."

* * *

Sav raised his eyebrow at that. "Fan club, eh? Well... they do update the website quickly when there's news. You'd get a tee-shirt or something with the membership. Just uh, stay off the groupie forums, and if you go in there, don't believe a word you read." If there was anything similar kept up by followers of Finnish metal bands, Jani would know that, but Sav had no knowledge on that subject either way.

"Falling off the stage, ugh." Sav rolled his eyes. "First I was in an ambulance, then the A&E, then the plane, and out of it from whatever drugs they gave me. My phone was backstage so I didn't have it till we got to the airport; my tech had it. I... I'll think about getting a second phone or something." He shook his head. "We weren't together yet then. I was frantic between not being able to call you, then wanting to call you but there being people around."

Jani was all packed up and ready to go now, too. They were stalling. Or for sure, Sav was. God, he didn't want to leave. There wasn't even the excuse of another cup of coffee. "I'd say to give my best to Tommy and Henkka, but this little holiday is kind of a secret."

* * *

"No problem, I can give them your best and they needn't know about our little honeymoon," Jani grinned. "Last they saw me was when they left me in your care, so you told me to say hi to them the morning after babysitting my sorry drunk arse. If they ask where I was, I'll tell them that I needed a few days off but don't have to mention that it was with you. One day I'm going to tell them about us and I'm looking forward to that day." He looked into Sav's eyes. "But for now..." His voice fell.

"We should probably say our real good-byes here, the ones where we hug and kiss."

* * *

Honeymoon. Sav wondered how to construe that but decided it was a conversation for another – far future – day.

If he was going to have a 'reaction' to saying goodbye, best it be here in private and not in the middle of the airport. He'd never been good with good-byes, usually avoided them. Before, when Jani had been taken into custody, it had not been their choice. This wasn't their choice, per se, but yet they did it out of necessity.

Sav's heart started thumping again. It wasn't the pleasant kind of anticipation. "I..." he swallowed the lump in his throat, "I will miss you. Every day. Every minute." Dammit, he couldn't do this. Couldn't say what he was supposed to.

The pull of them together was magnetic. Taking Jani into his arms, Sav hugged him tightly. Even now, they lined up perfectly. He wanted to kiss Jani for a year, and now they were almost out of time. Loosing his grip a little, Sav brought his lips across Jani's. If they were going to hug and kiss goodbye, he may as well do it right. Sav backed his lover against the door and held him there. They made out – what he'd call snogging – and squeezed each other breathless. Sav realised he was grinding up on Jani, desperate to feel all of him. His eyes were wet and he wished he could control that. Not a chance. "Told you," he grimaced.

* * *

They looked at each other for an awkward moment, then Sav pinned him against the door and kissed him as if the world was ending. Maybe it was, it sure felt that way. Jani clung to him for dear life, hoping for the last time that this wasn't the final goodbye for weeks to come.

"Sav," he whispered when the other man broke the kiss. "Minulla on ikävä sinua... I miss you already. Rakkaani, my love."

Sav's eyes weren't the only ones that were tearing up. "Me too," he nodded. Again, they looked at each other for a seemingly endless time that could have been no more than a few seconds, then Jani straightened up.

"Let's go," he said in a hoarse voice. "Before we... Let's just go." He squeezed Sav's hand and let go of him to pick up his suitcase and the gigbag with Rakas.

* * *

When they broke apart, Jani blinked a few times and asked that they leave now. Sav got what he meant: before it got really bad. "Yeah..." Sav couldn't find any other words yet. Even that stuck in his throat. Jani's eyes being over-shiny and close to overflowing wasn't helping his situation. Sav looked away, anywhere. No point in totally losing their composure.

Jani picked up the gig bag and his luggage, and Sav slung his backpack over one shoulder while checking he had everything he'd need on his person. "Do we leave separately, meet outside?" he asked. Jani hadn't wanted to be seen together when they checked in. It would probably be the same drill now.

* * *

"Yes, I... Is it okay with you if we do it that way?" Vittu, why couldn't he man up and tell the world that he was in love with Sav? Jani felt guilty, but they'd agreed on this and his wasn't the only career to consider. "I guess we could think of it as a trial separation, practice for the real one," he quipped. "Sorry, that wasn't funny."

* * *

Trial separation. Sav had no answer for that either. He caught himself or he'd probably have snorted. "Alright. I'll go first. Give me three minutes to walk to the elevator and catch it going down."

That might have been something of a Freudian slip, but for once Sav didn't find it the slightest bit amusing. He paused for a second with his hand on the doorknob. "See you outside."

* * *

"Yeah, on the outside." Letting Sav leave was the hardest thing Jani had ever done, and fighting the urge to kiss him once more took an inhuman amount of strength. Jani couldn't believe that he managed to remain in the room after the door closed behind Sav.

Three minutes were an eternity. Jani checked the bathroom and looked under the bed no less than five times, and he still found himself fidgeting until the clock on his mobile phone finally said it was time to go. Somehow, he made it to the reception and paid, feeling like a zombie. As he headed for the exit, a part of him wished that Sav would have already left, wished that they didn't have to say goodbye, but when the thought occurred to him that Sav might actually have taken pity on him – them – and done just that, panic rose in Jani again and he ran outside, terrified that Sav might really have left without him.

* * *

The elevator stopped on almost every floor, pausing again and again for early travellers. Sav got out with the rest on the ground floor, walked through the lobby and out through the front doors. The sun was higher than he'd thought, but when he checked his phone, he saw it was not yet 7:00AM. Right, further north. Jani had informed him the sun rose before 5:00AM. Taking a seat on the same bench as the previous evening, he waited.

And waited, or maybe it was his perception. He'd been checking his phone every thirty seconds or so. Maybe... Jani had fallen sick. Or had a recurrence of whatever that was last night. But what if not, and he wanted to... not see Sav again? It might be easier. Now Sav had something else to waffle over. Great. Before he could decide he would go, Jani appeared in a rush of flailing red hair, looking both ways before he spotted Sav.

* * *

So far, every time Jani had first seen Sav after even the shortest separation he'd been unable to keep a wide smile off his face. Today, in the face of Sav's departure, even the smile came out shaky – vittu, he still felt as if he was going to break into tears. This just wasn't happening!

Fighting the urge to hug the other man and cling to him and never let go, Jani managed a wooden-sounding "Hi," while on the inside he was drowning in emotion.

* * *

Jani greeted him shortly, almost a hiccup. A watery attempt to smile seemed to be the extent of his ability. Sav wasn't having much success in that department either at the moment. It would have felt unnatural anyway.

"Hi. Shall we?" Sav hauled himself off the bench and nodded in the direction of the airport. The majority of foot traffic was headed that way. Between the sleep and the coffee, he didn't feel overly tired. If he had time, he'd stop at a bookstore or news stand in the airport, he'd need something to try to take his mind off this. Or he could do what he should have for days and reply to emails... offline, and he could hit Send on them all when he got home.

Setting a medium pace, he made sure Jani was still with him. They walked along silently, as did most people within earshot. Sav decided – fiercely – that he was going to keep it as brief as possible when they really had to separate, and if he really had to resort to theatrics he'd do so in private. If Jani had other ideas, or if he was practicing a speech, Sav supposed he would listen, but his brain was giving him nothing in that regard and even so, his mouth wouldn't have cooperated, he knew. He could see some signs ahead... closer... closer...

* * *

They'd barely started walking when they already found themselves at the terminal. It felt unreal. Maybe it was unreal. Maybe he wasn't here but in his bed, sleeping off a hangover, and the past week had only been a dream. Jani pinched himself hard and nothing changed. Real then.

They reached the door and both their steps faltered. Thank goodness, it was early in the morning and there wasn't much of a rush yet. Jani hesitated. Sav didn't appear to know what to say or do either.

When the ominous silence was starting to get awkward, Jani spoke up. "So, do you, um... I'm not good at this, so... This sucks... but... would it... maybe... be easier for you if we split right here?"

* * *

"It... yeah." Judging by the signs, the airline terminals were ahead but Jani would need to go another way to catch a bus. Either way, easy was as far from what it would be as hell from heaven. Sav continued walking but guided them over to the wall, so they would be out of the flow of people.

Then he stopped and turned. It was a struggle to not shuffle his feet and stuff his hands in his pockets like some git, or likewise pin Jani to the wall again. It was only a matter of time till someone recognised one or both of them, if they hadn't already. Well, he could be a man about it and look Jani in the eye. "I won't say it. I will say that... I'll see you again. As soon as possible. If I have my way, end of September. And I'll call you when I can."

* * *

"Yeah. Likewise." Jani's voice came out clipped and he was surprised it didn't fail altogether. This was it, then. He'd known for days but he still wasn't ready for Sav to leave. There were so many things he needed to tell the man he loved – why hadn't he said them when they'd had time?

And then... there was this one thing... He'd told himself that Sav must never know, or that maybe one day the time would be right... Only... what if something terrible happened and he would never be able to tell him? What if he had another... episode... spell... like yesterday? Or if Sav's plane crashed? If a crazy fan attacked him? If he fell off the stage again and broke his neck this time?

No, at the risk of ruining everything by speaking up... holding back now, when this could be the last time they saw each other, Jani knew he didn't have the right to keep this from Sav. He forced himself to smile and sling an arm around Sav in what any potential onlooker would read as a 'manly' hug.

"You're the light of my life," he said, then he leaned closer and whispered, "You'll always be that, even if you may not like what I'm about to tell you. I'll never make you do this, don't worry, but I..." He felt Sav tense and knew that his time was up. "I can't help it. I want to be in you, as close to you as... anatomically... possible. My dick in your arse... I love you, Sav, I love you..."

Jani tore himself loose and fled.

* * *


End file.
